Chapter 1

The five of us wanted to go to a concert.

I used four devices, with every ticketing app I could find open, and managed to get five tickets.

But on the day of the show, when I met everyone outside the arena, my best friend had brought another girl.

“This is Lily, my coworker. She's been a Luke Morgan fan for twenty years!” Jenna said. “When she heard we had five tickets, she asked if we could spare one.”

Caleb, one of my childhood friends, shrugged. “Nora thinks concerts are too loud anyway. She can give up hers.”

Owen, my other childhood friend, handed me a bottle of water.

“You've been wanting to try that candy shop on the north side, right? The one with the caramel apples? Now you have time.”

Jenna looked at me. “But Nora worked really hard to get these tickets. Maybe we should figure something else out?”

Caleb and Owen immediately objected.

“The show's about to start. What else can we do?”

“Your coworker's already here. We can't make her come all this way for nothing.”

My boyfriend had already ordered me a ride.

“Getting tickets is just tapping your phone a few times,” Ethan said. “What's so hard about that? Your car's booked. I put in the candy shop as the destination.”

Jenna's coworker couldn't be allowed to waste a trip. Apparently, I could.

I'd gotten five concert tickets, and somehow there was no seat left for me.

I watched the five of them laugh and head off to buy light-up headbands and glow sticks.

I wasn't being treated like a girlfriend, a best friend, or even a friend. I was the person they could do without.

I wasn't going to the concert.

It was time to leave the rest of their lives, too.

...

I didn't take the car Ethan Miller had ordered to the north side.

At my dental appointment last month, my dentist had told me to cut back on sweets, especially anything coated in sugar.

Ethan and Caleb Hayes both knew. They'd even teased me about eating so much candy I was ruining my teeth.

They'd already forgotten.

I ordered another ride. My phone kept buzzing on the way home, so I took it out.

Jenna Reed was posting video after video in our five-person group chat.

There was Ethan. There was Jenna. There were Caleb and Owen Brooks, the two boys I'd grown up with.

And there was Lily.

All five stood with the main stage behind them, smiling and waving into the camera.

In the next video, Luke came onstage to screams and cheers. The five of them crowded together, singing at the top of their lungs.

I'd been the first one to love his music. Ethan, Caleb, and Owen had started listening because of me. We'd grown up with those songs.

Yet when I finally managed to get tickets to see him, they gave mine to a stranger.

Because she worked with Jenna.

It wasn't the first time.

Once, we'd planned a beach trip more than six months ahead. I'd booked the flights and the hotel.

The night before we were supposed to leave, Jenna saw a video of a sunrise from a mountaintop and decided she wanted to go hiking instead.

That same night, they changed our plans to an overnight hike up a popular mountain trail to watch the sunrise.

I have a hereditary heart condition. I can't stay up all night, much less push myself through strenuous exercise.

They insisted I go anyway. There were five of us, they said. We couldn't leave anyone out.

I ended up in the hospital after we came down.

Ethan and the others blamed me. Why had I pushed myself if I couldn't handle a hike?

I'd told them I couldn't go. They were the ones who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Then there was my eighteenth birthday.

Mom had a designer make me a diamond tiara for the party. When Jenna saw it, she said she'd never worn anything so beautiful.

Ethan told me to let her wear it.

I said no.

Caleb and Owen each grabbed one of my arms and held me still. Ethan took the tiara off my head himself and put it on Jenna.

Then he ushered her out of my bedroom.

They'd made a joke out of my eighteenth birthday.

With them, Jenna always came first.

Another notification interrupted my thoughts.

Jenna had posted a collage of nine pictures, all five of them beaming at the concert.

I called Mom.

“Mom, you said you wanted to move to San Diego. That it would be a better place for me to take care of my health, right?”

“I've made up my mind. Let's move.”

After I hung up, I saw new messages tagging me in the group chat.

Ethan: Nora, they're playing so many of your favorites! I'm recording them. You can listen when I get home.

Caleb: Nora, singing along with a whole arena is incredible! Wish all five of us were here.

Owen: Next time, don't worry about the noise. Come with us! You're really missing out!

They kept saying it as if I'd decided not to go. As if they hadn't given my ticket away.

I started typing, then deleted every word.

Forget it, I told myself.

This was the last time.

Ethan, Caleb, Owen—there wasn't going to be a next time for us.