HELP YOURSELF FIRST
(METHARAJ) RAJ'S POV (Age 27, Year 1990)
I keep my back turned to the wall as I walk toward the glass partition of the shower, putting deliberate distance between myself and the boy chained to the towel rack.
Beneath my ribs, a slow, unfamiliar heat is still coiling through my bloodstream. ...
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Chapters
1. TIME OF LOVE
2. RUN TO HIDE
3. A HIDING PLACE
4. DREAM
5. THE GREAT CAMPUS ESCAPE
6. SOUND OF HUNGER
7. HUNGRY KID
8. THE SCARS OF THE PAST
9. A SHARED UNKNOWING
10. THE DEEP END
11. THE OTHER SIDE
12. BENEATH THE SURFACE
13. THE UNFOLDING PUZZLE
14. THE GLASS CAGE OF ROMANCE
15. A TANGLED MYSTERY
16. THE DREAM OF THE PAST OR THE FUTURE?
17. THE NIGHTMARE'S HUNT
18. DECONSTRUCTING THE PARADOX
19. A FUTURE IN CRIMSON
20. A GlIMPSE OF FATE
21. THE FRACTURED TIMELINE
22. RICOCHETING REALITIES
23. A REWRITTEN SYSTEM
24. A DOOR TO 1990
25. ECHOES IN THE RAIN
26. THE HEART'S RECKONING
27. WHERE THE HEARTS REMEMBERS
28. A FLAW IN THE MASTERPIECE
29. FINDING MY OWN WAY
30. THE CARTOGRAPHER OF LOST TIME
31. A FAMILIAR PAST, A FICTIONAL SHIP
32. THE CONTAMINATION OF LOGIC
33. THE CALIBRATION OF A MONSTER
34. THE CORROSION OF CERTAINTY
35. THE DISSOLVING LINE
36. A SICKNESS CALLED LOVE
37. THE UNSPOKEN GRIEF
38. A TASTE OF A FORGOTTEN LOVE
39. THE GHOST IN THE CAGE
40. THE UNSEEN THREAT
41. A LAMB FOR THE WOLF
42. THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE
43. THE PRICE OF A NAME
44. THE KARMA OF A GHOST
45. A HOUSE OF ERASED MEMORIES
46. THE CORROSION OF A CONSPIRACY
47. THE PRICE OF LOVE
48. THE ANATOMY OF A LIE
49. THE HOUSE OF ECHOING SCREAMS
50. THE CHORUS OF THE DAMNED
51. THE UNENDING CYCLE OF LOSS
52. A BORROWED CRIME
53. MY OWN JUDGEMENT TO MY SIN
54. THE FIRST SIN
55. BIRTH OF A SHADOW
56. THE SAVIOR'S SIN
57. THE SAINT AND THE SINNER
58. THE UNFORGIVABLE PAST
59. THE SAINT'S INFERNO
60. WHERE THE RAIN REMEMBERS
61. THE CARTOGRAPHY OF A BROKEN HEART
62. WHO IS THE SINNER?
63. THE HUNT BEGINS
64. THE SCARS OF A LIFETIME
65. THE DREAM OF A THOUSAND GHOSTS
66. A RESPITE IN THE STORM
67. A WAR ACROSS TIME
68. A STAR IN MY DYING SKY
69. OUR SUNSET
70. THE POINT OF NO RETURN
71. THE GHOST ON A THRONE OF SCARS
72. THE HOLLOW MAN
73. THE DEVIL'S STAGE
74. ANATOMY OF A GRUDGE
75. THE DEVIL'S ARITHMETIC
76. THE ECHO OF THE STRANGER
77. NOT MY THYME
78. A STRANGER'S LOGIC
79. THE PRISONER OF SOULS
80. SHOWTIME
81. A WAR ON TWO FRONTS
82. THE PERFECT MONSOON
83. THE PERFECT VICTIM
84. A GAME OF MASKS
85. THE SPIDER'S WEB
86. THE GHOST IN HIS OWN HOME
87. THE HOODED GHOST
88. THE HANGED MAN'S PROPHECY
89. THE SUNLIT AND THE STAINED
90. THE MOST TERRIFYING THING
91. A DEBT OF BLOOD
92. THE GHOST IN THE FILE
93. A DEBT OF BLOOD -THE REASON HE BANISHED
94. WHEN DO WE BEGIN?
95. WHEN THE PREY KNOWS
96. A GAME OF MASKS
97. THE PLAYWRIGHT'S CONFESSION
98. THE PERFECT VICTIM, THE PERFECT MURDERRER
99. WHAT DID I DO?
100. THE POISON WAS MINE
101. THE MONSTER IN THE DIARY
102. RUNNING ERRANDS FOR A MONSTER
103. HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT
104. THE FINEST THREAD
105. THE LAST ASSASSIN
106. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY?
107. THE STAIN THAT REMAINS
108. CARE AND CORROSION
109. A NECESSARY CRUELTY
110. CHEATED JUSTICE
111. THE DEBT OF LIFESPAN
112. THE UNSEEN WATCHER
113. THE BLEEDING PAGE
114. REPLACED
115. IT'S ALWAYS THYME
116. A WEAPONIZED LIE
117. THE REINCARNATED SIN
118. RESIDUE
119. THE ADMIRER ENTITY
120. A LINE TO THE VOID
121. WHO IS KHONG?
122. THE TRUTH OF PRISON OF DREAMS
123. THE LAST SHAMAN OF SAETANG
124. A CRACK IN THE WALL
125. A GRAVE ALREADY DUG
126. A SIN OF SALVATION
127. BURN THE WORLD TO LIGHT YOUR WAY
128. THE MAP OF SCARS
129. THE RED THREAD OF FATE
130. THE LAKE OF ENDLESS CYCLES
131. THE CURSE OF AFFECTION
132. THE GUARDIAN'S PARADOX
133. THE GALLERY OF DEAD ENDS
134. DISAPPEARANCE OF HOPE
135. THE ECHO OF THE SOUL
136. SHADOWS IN THE HALLWAY
137. THE SANDGLASS AND THE FOREST
138. THE AZURE PURGE
139. THE FOREST OF THE LOST
140. A SEA OF MALICE
141. SINS OF A FATHER
142. THE SINNER'S GRAVE
143. THE PRISON OF REGRET
144. THE SOUL DEVOURER
145. THE GREAT SHAMAN MYSTERY
146. A PATH TO THE GRAVE
147. ROOM 307
148. THE WRONG ROOM
149. THE RED ROOM
150. WARM BLOOD, COLD SKIN
151. WAKE UP NOW
152. THE GAP
153. THE REPLACEMENT
154. THYME OR PRIDE?
155. THE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH
156. THE BLOOD-SOAKED INVITATION
157. THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL
158. THE BEGINNING OF THE FESTIVAL
159. SCENT OF A SINNER
160. A SISTER'S ALIBI
161. A TWISTED DEVOTION
162. A LEGACY OF RUIN
163. THE BREEDING GROUND AND THE PATHOLOGY OF LOVE
164. THE FLOWERS OF ROTTING MEMORIES
165. THE RESIDUE OF A NIGHTMARE
166. THE ASHES OF THE SINNER
167. THE ASHES OF REALITY
168. THE BLIND SEER
169. THE ROTTING ECHO
170. A FEVER OF THE HEART
171. BLOOD IN THE MUD
172. IN HIS SHADOW
173. WORDS IN STEAM
174. OVER THE EDGE
175. MORE THAN A SRRVANT
176. COMPLETELY FERAL
177. SUFFOCATING SILENCE
178. JUST A SERVANT
179. SHADOWS IN THE BLOOD
180. WAS IT ACTUALLY YOUR CRIME?
181. AN EMPTY LOT
182. THE UNSEEN CRONE
183. DOUBTED LOVE
184. LEFT IN THE DARK
185. FRACTURED CONTROL
186. BLOOD ON THE SILVER
187. A BOY IN THE DARK
188. A MONSTER IN THE DARK
189. CALCULATED DEFIANCE
190. HUNTING A DEADMAN
191. THE GUARDIAN'S PROMISE
192. UNKNOWN CONTRACT
193. THE ABYSS OF MEMORY
194. BEFORE I CEASE TO EXIST
195. A GRAVE IN TIME
196. THE MIRROR THAT SWALLOWS
197. THE WATER HAS NO SURFACE
198. THE PREDATORY VOID
199. A CHILD'S WEIGHT
200. DEAD WIND
201. THE WEEPING WALLS
202. NOT JUST A GHOST
203. THE SHAMANS CONTRACT
204. THE SHAMANS DOOR
205. PHYSICIAN'S TETHER
206. COLLIDING VARIABLES
207. SHIFTING THE SCALES
208. THE MISSING HOURS
209. NO SANCTUARY
210. AN IMPOSSIBLE LOVE STORY
211. WHAT ARE WE?
212. IRON AND HEAT
213. A TOMORROW THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST
214. TERRITORIAL HEAT
215. FORBIDDEN DAYDREAMS
216. THE ONLY VARIABLE
217. A VOICE IN THE DARK
218. THE SHADOWS IN THE FOREST
219. A DISOBEDIENT LIABILITY
220. IGNORING THE DARK
221. IT ISN'T A STRAND OF HAIR
222. A DANGEROUS KIND OF SAFE
223. THE MONSTER HOLDING THE KEY
224. A Silent Promise of Violence
225. A SICK KIND OF RELIEF
226. THE EYELESS PUPPET
227. SORCERER OF THE SWARM
228. THE INVERTED CORPSE
229. DEAD MEN NEED NO TALISMANS
230. CAUGHT BEFORE THE FALL
231. IS THIS A GAME?
232. TORN COTTON, COLD MARBLE
233. HELP YOURSELF FIRST
234. A DIFFERENT KIND OF HUNGER
235. THE PRICE OF A MISUNDERSTANDING
236. SIMPLY SINKING
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