Torn between two mates.
Aria’s POV
The morning drapes itself in silence, soft and silver, and the castle is still quiet as it is very early. I sit by the window in the east wing, wrapped in a beautiful new robe that Maria brought me this morning. It is fit for a future Queen. My fingers curl around a cup of tea that has long since gone cold, untouched, forgotten, as my thoughts drift far beyond the stone and shadow that surround me. The sky outside stretches wide and pale, the horizon distant and indifferent, and though the sun has begun its slow climb, I feel no warmth in its light, only the quiet ache of a day that carries too much weight.
I am going to become the Queen of Lycans. It is a big responsibility. I do not know if I am ready, though. I have been lying awake and repeating the words Ethan uttered to me to myself in the quiet hours of the night, though I have tried to wrap them in my newfound strength, they still sting, still burn, still feel like a betrayal of everything Ethan promised me. I do not want to go back and face Ethan. I do not want to see the faces that once turned from me, the eyes that looked through me, the voices that whispered behind my back as if I were something shameful, something broken, something less than they were. I do not want to walk through those gates and feel the weight of their judgment settle on my shoulders like it used to, like it never truly left. Yes, I feel it here as well, but the Lycans are more respectful, and Maria is a true friend. She helps me with everything and even teaches me etiquette. We have only known each other since last night, but I already feel like I have a friend in her. She taught me a few things last night, and her warm smile makes me feel not as alone as I was in the Silverclaw Pack.
The bond with Ethan still lives inside me, quiet and persistent, a thread that pulses beneath my skin, reminding me of promises made and broken, of love that once felt eternal and now feels like a wound that refuses to heal. However, I do not feel as broken as I felt when I left the pack. I have told myself that I hate him. I have told myself that I am better off without Ethan, but he was my friend, the only one who cared about me for years, and it is difficult to let it go. I have told myself that I do not need him. But the truth is more complicated than that, and no matter how many times I try to silence it, it rises again, soft and aching, whispering of memories I cannot forget. The memories of us laughing in the rain when we ran barefoot in the forest, memories of him helping me up when I fell, memories of him and me talking about our future and our children, and how happy we will be.
He never married Lilith. He never chose another. I do not know why. Does he still have feelings for me? I do not know if it was guilt or loyalty or something deeper, something that still lives inside him, something that still reaches for me from his heart. Does Ethan still love me? Do I even care if he does? I do not know if he regrets what he did, if he stood up to his parents, if he still dreams of me, not with longing, but with sorrow, with the kind of grief that comes from losing something sacred. Is he regretting letting our love go?
The door opens without warning, and I turn my head slowly, already knowing who it is before I see him. Darius steps into the room with the quiet authority of someone who has never needed permission to enter, his cloak trailing behind, his eyes sharp and unreadable, and though he does not speak immediately, I feel the heaviness in the air, the tension that follows him, wrapping around me, pressing against my chest.
“We leave tomorrow,” he says, each word shaped with precision, and though he does not raise his voice, the weight of his command settles over me like a mantle I cannot shrug off. “The Silverclaw Pack expects us by midday. The bond between you and Ethan must be broken before the next full moon.”
I simply watch him, and I let the silence stretch between us, because I am not ready to speak the truth aloud, not yet, not while the ache still lives in my chest like something sacred and shameful.
“The full moon is in five weeks,” he continues, stepping closer, his gaze steady. “It is when you will be crowned. When you will become my Queen.”
I flinch, just slightly, and I hate that he sees it.
“You’ve already accepted your fate,” he says, softer now, almost gentle. I know I have said to Genevieve that I will become the Queen of the Lycans, but I am afraid of what might happen at the Silverclaw Pack. What if I feel sorry for Ethan and I cannot speak the words that break his heart, but am I willing to let Darius go for someone like Ethan? I do not know. Why do I have to have these two bonds that are tearing me apart?
“I know,” I whisper, my voice barely audible, and I look away, my eyes drifting back to the horizon, to the place where the sky meets the earth and refuses to choose between them. Darius does not press me. He simply watches me with those cold eyes. He turns and leaves, his footsteps fade into the corridor, leaving me alone with the storm he has summoned.
I rise slowly from the chair and walk to the mirror, my reflection pale and uncertain, my eyes shadowed by thoughts I cannot escape, and I wonder what Ethan will see when I stand before him again. Will he see the girl he once loved, or will he see the woman who chose another, who walked away, who let go? But he let go first! He rejected me! I wonder what I will see when I look at him. Will I see the boy who broke my heart, or will I see the man who never stopped believing in the bond, even when everything else fell apart?
I want clarity. I want to be free from one of the bonds so I can move on with my life. I have chosen. I already know who I will choose. I am a Lycan, and I belong with my people. I will not make the same mistake my mother made, and I will not let myself suffer again. I refuse that my children live the same lives I did. I belong here with the Lycan King, and I know it.
But freedom comes with a price, and tomorrow I will pay it. I will walk into the Silverclaw Pack with my head high and my heart steady. I will face Ethan, his pack, and his parents, and I will tell them they are not good enough for me. I am of Royal Blood, and I will not allow them to look down at me anymore. I will let go of Ethan. Even if it hurts. Even if it breaks something inside me. Even if it means closing the door on the only love I ever knew. Because I cannot wear the crown while the past still clings to me like a second skin. The future cannot be claimed while the heart still hesitates. I must break the bond with Ethan, not out of anger, not out of vengeance, but out of necessity, out of mercy, out of the quiet understanding that some things must end so others can begin. I must do it, not only for the future but also for myself. Yes, I may be torn between two mates right now, but I have already made my choice.
