Chapter 4

Back in my room, I didn't cry. I didn't throw anything either.

I just sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the dark window, one thought going in circles.

I didn't have a place here anymore.

I don't know how long I sat there. When the sky started to gray, I got up and walked out.

I didn't go looking for them. I went to Father's.

Magnus was going over territory business when I walked in. He set it down the moment he saw me.

His eyes caught on my face and stayed there.

"Elara? This early?"

"Father." I kept my voice even. "The Siren proposal. Still no one willing to go this year?"

His hand stopped moving.

The Sirens had no females of their own. Every year they sent out a marriage request to the territories on the continent, trying to keep their bloodline alive. But they lived out in the Endless Sea, cold and wet and far from land.

No one ever wanted to go.

That request had been sitting on Magnus's desk for almost two months.

"...Why are you asking?"

"Send me."

His head snapped up.

He didn't say anything for a long time. His eyes moved over me slowly, my thin face, the way my clothes hung looser than they should, and something in my expression that seemed to unsettle him more than anything else.

"Did they do something again?" His voice went cold. He started to stand.

I stopped him.

"Father, don't go to them. Please. Stop fighting my battles for me."

He closed his eyes, like he was holding something back by force. It took him a while to speak.

"Elara. You're my only daughter. I don't want to send you that far away."

"But I don't want to watch you carry this for me anymore either."

He rubbed his face, his voice rough. "You're sure?"

I nodded.

"It's a long way to the southern coast. We'll leave tonight." He paused. "Bring anything you want to keep."

I shook my head.

"There's nothing I want to keep, Father."

By the time I left, it was full morning.

Word must have traveled fast. Maybe someone saw me heading to the Alpha's house at dawn. Maybe nothing stayed secret in this territory for long.

I hadn't even made it back to the house before I heard footsteps behind me, fast and heavy.

"Elara!"

Kael reached me first, his face dark.

"What did you go and tell the Alpha this time?"

Dorian and Seth weren't far behind. Dorian's eyes flicked toward where I'd come from, jaw tight.

The old me would have panicked at being accused like that. I would have cried, argued, waited for Father to come defend me.

Now I just felt tired.

"Say something!" Kael pushed. "Are you trying to get Ayla thrown out again?"

"What else do you do besides run to the Alpha and complain?" Dorian added, cold.

I looked at them. Three men who used to treat me like I was made of glass.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked.

Kael blinked.

"You think I'm spoiled. Selfish. That I can't do anything but cause trouble."

My voice came out flat, like I was talking about someone else.

"You're right. That's exactly who I am. Always have been."

Something shifted in all three of their faces at once.

Seth stepped forward. "Elara, that's not what we—"

"You don't need to explain." I cut him off. "Everything you've said is true. I'm not independent. I'm not strong. I'm not mature. I'm exactly the spoiled, useless person you think I am."

No one spoke.

Dorian's mouth opened, then closed. Kael's fists clenched, then unclenched.

I turned my back on them.

"Go home. Go be with Ayla. Don't waste any more time on me."

They stood there for a moment. Then they left.

I listened to their footsteps fade out, my nails digging into my palms.

It didn't hurt.

I didn't feel anything at all.

That night, I laid the Fang Necklace on the table.

Set the Vine Bracelet next to it.

Folded the Nightfall Cloak and placed it neatly over the back of a chair.

Everything they'd ever given me stayed in that room. I packed a few plain shirts, nothing else, and the knife my mother left me.

Magnus was already waiting at the edge of the territory. His eyes were red. He draped a thick pelt over my shoulders and handed me a heavy pack.

"There's medicine in there, and food. It's damp out on the Endless Sea. Take care of yourself."

I climbed into the carriage and looked back one last time at the territory under the moonlight.

The lights. The rooftops. The place I thought I'd live in for the rest of my life.

The carriage started moving.

No one came after me.