Chapter 155

Helen POV

My nerves were on fire, and anxiety had lodged itself in my throat. Justin was coming for a visit.

Randy was sitting calmly in the living room, waiting. But I found myself pacing all over the main level, looking out the windows, trying to get a view from the windows so that I could see which direction he might be coming from and when he might arrive. I knew it wouldn’t take long. The town wasn’t all that big, and his stride was so long, being a lycan and all.

“Relax, Helen,” Randy called from the other room. “Worrying about what’s going to happen when he gets here isn’t going to help anything. Right now, the best course of action is for you to just take a deep breath and relax.”

“What if he’s furious,” I groaned, wringing my hands. “Just a few hours ago, I felt so empowered, and now I felt so unsure of myself. Maybe I should have waited patiently for longer. He’s just trying to do his best.”

I could hear Randy’s footsteps cross the room, and he took my hands in his, pulling me so that he could stare into my eyes. “You waited more than long enough.”

There was no question in his tone at all.

“At some point, Justin was going to have to make a move toward you for a change. You need to be strong and wait for him to do that. Otherwise, your word means nothing. And it’s not just Justin that would impact. You made your decision to step back and wait for him to take the next step a very public declaration. If you were to go back on that now, you, as a luna, would look incredibly weak.”

“The pack wants a strong luna, but the pack also wants a strong Alpha,” I whined. “And now I’ve gone and made him look weak.”

Randy shook his head vigorously and let go of my hands. “No, you’ve just asked him for a different kind of strength. You’ve asked him for strength of character, and that’s not a bad thing.”

“How?” I was near to panicking now.

“Everyone knows that Justin’s got strength in his limbs. Everyone knows that he’s got a temper that can make even the most violent cower before him. Now they need to see that he’s got the strength of character it takes to wield those weapons wisely. And this is an excellent place to start.”

I whimpered, not really following his logic.

“With the rumors flying about you being his bed slave and the fact that it was fairly common knowledge that he punished you harshly after you stabbed him in the back, now that the evidence has come to light, if he can’t stand up and have the honorable nature that it takes to be a strong leader, then the pack will begin to worry about him as well. You made the call. He needs to follow through.”

Randy smiled reassuringly. “When you guys come out the other side, you will both look better for the ordeal. But right now, the move is in his hands.”

I nodded and started to pace again. Randy watched me go without saying anything. I peeked out the window by the front door and could see movement down the road. All of a sudden, my anxiety ramped up again. That was probably Justin, and it looked like he had someone with him. I could only hope that it was Russo because if it was anybody else, I might just die of humiliation for going off on my mate in public like that.

I watched the figures for a moment, and it didn’t take long before I could recognize Justin’s long strides and catch the wink of Russo’s wings behind him.

“They’re coming,” I said.

I wasn’t really speaking to Randy, but I knew he’d hear.

“Deep breaths,” Randy urged from behind me. “Deep breaths. You can do this.”

I watched Justin come closer, and curiosity began to edge in against the anxiety, shoving for space in my mind. He wasn’t striding down the road like he was furious. In fact, the closer he got, the better I could see that he was actually having a conversation with Russo. Not a serious one, based on the look on his face or his mannerisms, but something that had them actively talking with one another.

And then I saw something that made my jaw drop open. Justin laughed.

I could probably count on my hands the number of times I had ever seen him laugh out loud like that. We’d been through so much trauma since we met. It seems like one trial after another. And yes, we had good times. But they were usually when we were having sex.

He wasn’t having sex with Russo, obviously. So to see Justin enjoying himself in a different sort of way was shocking in and of itself. Suddenly a horrible feeling filled my gut. I wanted to be the one to make Justin laugh.

Who ever thought that I would have been jealous of the fae and my husband together? But I was. I’ve made Justin come. I’ve made him moan and scream and rake his nails down my back. But I had never made him laugh that freely and that made me sick to my stomach.

Before I knew what to say to him, Justin had come up the steps onto the front porch and was knocking on the front door.

“Are you going to get that,” Randy teased me, “or should I?”

I just stared at him, gaping, the blood draining from my face.

He said, “Fine, I’ll get it.” Randy walked over to the front door and opened it. “Come on in, Alpha,” he invited.

Justin stepped over the threshold, followed by Russo. I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. How did a girl entertain her own mate in a house that wasn’t his?

Russo seemed to have a better handle on things than Justin did because he smiled at me. “This is a cute place. I like it. Do you mind giving us a little tour?”

This brought me around and gave me something to do. “Oh. Yes. Sure,” I said. I took them to the living room first. “It’s not a huge place, but it’s strange to think that I can do whatever I want with it, that this belongs to me.”

“Do you have plans for it then?” Russo asked kindly.

The whole while, Justin stood silently beside Russo, dozens of different emotions flitting across his face faster than I could keep up with them.

“I honestly don’t know,” I told him. “I’ve never had anything that belonged to me aside from my necklace rings.”

I put my hand on the two rings hanging from the chain around my neck. “Everything else has always belonged to someone else. I’m actually a little overwhelmed. I’m not even sure what I want. I’ve never thought about it before.”

By the time I finished this statement, Justin was staring peculiarly at me. I blushed, feeling shy all of a sudden. Which was silly considering it was my mate who was staring at me, a man whom I had known quite intimately. So why should this particular look make me feel odd?

“Why don’t I show you the dining room in the kitchen next?” I babbled in my nervousness.

One room at a time, I took them around my modest little house, and I showed them all of the places inside. The downstairs didn’t have much more than what I’d already shown them except for a powder room which just had a toilet in the sink. The upstairs had two bedrooms with a shared bathroom. One was sizable enough for adult furniture, and the other was clearly meant to be either an office or a nursery being just big enough to house a crib or a desk.

“It’s hardly a mansion like your father’s,” I said, trying to draw him into a response, “and it’s not even as big as the other place that we had together.”

Nothing.

I gave a little shrug and looked at Justin, waiting for him to say something, anything about the fact that I now had a house of my own. His jaw worked like he was chewing on words trying to sort through them, but it wasn’t saying anything cruel or angry, so that had to be a good sign, right?