Chapter 161

Helen’s POV

Russo seemed to sense my thoughts. “I know you’re living alone for the first time in your life, and I thought that it might be lonely. As the luna, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to keep—”

“No!” I said, startling myself with the firm denial in my tone. “I refuse to put anyone else in my service. I spent enough time waiting on other people. I’m not letting someone do that for me.”

He reached out, putting a hand on my upper arm. “You misunderstand me,” he said. “Julianne is not here to work in your service. I didn't think you would like that. But a similar occupation is to function as a luna’s lady’s companion. She wouldn't be in charge of the chores. She would be here to make sure that someone is helping you as you start out on your own. You can use her as just a companion, if you want or she can take you through the day-to-day stuff that you might not understand about living alone.”

I crossed my arms and glared at him. “I'm perfectly capable of cleaning the house and doing the grocery shopping on my own,” I said. “I've done all of that kind of stuff.”

He nodded, taking his hand away from my arm and putting his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable once again, “You still don't understand what I mean. I'm not looking for someone to show you how to keep the house. I know you know how to do that. Although, like I said, it's perfectly acceptable for luna to hire staff and there's a big difference between paying someone to help you keep the house and forcing someone to do the housework for you. But that's not what Julianne is here for.”

Russo stared earnestly at me. “Julianne is here to help you decorate the house: to show you the kinds of options that you have for painting the walls and putting up pictures and matching the furniture. She's here to take you shopping for new linens and new clothes. She's here to help you if you'd like to throw a party and have some of the ladies of the pack come keep you company for the afternoon. Julianne can assist if you want to start a book club or an exercise class or if you just want someone to show you the local trails on a wolf run, things that you might not be equipped to do on your own.”

I growled at him. “So you're paying someone to be my friend?” My voice cracked over those words. “I can't believe you would pay someone to be my friend.”

He held up his hands, backing away because my face was a mask of shock. “I'm sorry, Luna Helen,” he said. “Honestly, I was only trying to help. In the entire time that I've known you, I've only seen you spend time with your mate and with Randy and I. But Randy is supposed to keep an eye on you. That's his job as the beta.”

He Shrugged his shoulders, looking pathetic. “I'll fully admit, I don't make a very good lady's companion. I am not a girlfriend.”

My lip trembled and I bit it, turning away from them both, not wanting them to see my pain. I'd never had a girlfriend. In fact, the only girls I had ever met always mocked me. They made fun of me for my tri-colored coat. They were mad at me for snagging the last lycan or they were in a hurry to betray me or use me in some way. No one wanted to be my friend.

And now, even more humiliatingly, in order to get me a frien,d Russo had to pay somebody. Tears threatened to drip down my face.

Julianne cleared her throat. “Can I say something, Luna?”

I shrugged my shoulders and didn't answer her.

“I can see where this might look bad, my taking a salary to be your companion. But I wouldn't have accepted the job if I didn't think we could get along together. You may have been too busy to pay attention to the likes of a lowly little she-wolf like me, but we've all been watching you for months now. Many of the she-wolves in your pack felt bad that there wasn't something we could do to make your life more comfortable.”

“You seem to be running into trouble and suffering at every turn. if I can offer even the small service of keeping you company, I'm happy to do it. The salary that Russo offered is just a bonus.” She made a funny little noise in her throat and shuffled her feet. “My husband and I, we just want to save up. We're hoping that if we can put a little money aside we can have our first pup together. But I honestly don't want to offend you. So if I've done something wrong or you don't want to be in my company, just tell me and I'll go.”

Without turning around, I asked her a question. “Why are you friends with Russo?”

She was only silent for a mere moment before speaking and I could hear the smile in her voice. “He's fun to be around. He's kind and he listens and he's helpful. He can be funny too, if the mood hits him. We have him over for dinner, my mate and I do. Russo's kind of become a family friend.”

Her voice saddened a little. “We feel a little bit sorry for him, as well, being the last of his own kind and all. Russo is too young to be isolated like that. So we're happy to include him.”

Part of me wanted to ask if it was really all right to have her as a friend, but I knew that would sound weak. It sounded weak in my own mind, desperate even. But suddenly the idea of sending her out the door and away from me felt even worse. I didn't want to be lonely.

Julianne had an honest tone and she sounded both sympathetic and loyal to Russo, even though I knew she couldn't have known him for more than a few months.

“You don't have to go,” I said grudgingly. “It's not that I don't want you in my presence, it's that I don't know you and the whole idea took me by surprise.” I turned around and caught her gaze.

She had quiet gray eyes and soft golden hair that I wondered if it was a reflection of her coat color. She had a face of somebody that I thought I could trust. But then again, trusting people had bitten me in the butt so many times recently.

“I'll tell you what,” I said. “I'll let you stay for a week. At the end of the week, you and I are going to sit down and have an honest conversation about whether or not we think that it's a good thing to continue with you as my companion. A lot of trouble follows me around and I really don't want to drag someone else into that. I feel bad because so often my friends get hurt.”

I made a pained face, not wanting to speak the next part, but needing to. “My other hesitation is that I frequently find myself betrayed by the people I thought were my friends. I don't know how long it will take for me to trust you fully.”

She nodded her head. “I understand and I know that some of those betrayals have come because the Huntsman forces those closest to you to hurt you.” Julianne set her jaw firmly, her look stubborn. “I won't let him scare me. I won't let the Huntsman frighten everyone away from you. That's not fair and I think it's perfectly reasonable to talk about whether or not we get along after a week together. I wouldn't want to stay if you weren't enjoying my company. And I'll be honest with you about whether I'm enjoying myself with you as well.”

Russo smiled between her and I. “That sounds like a good place to start.”