Chapter 3 003

LILA

My eyes are swollen the next morning. Every time I close them, I still feel the exact pressure of Elias’s hand on my waist.

I slip into Structural Analysis ten minutes late. The room is already packed.

I only chose this major because of Ethan. He switched to architecture last year. Of course he did.

Elias walks in a few minutes after me. His dark hair is half-tied back, and he’s wearing all black again. He drops into a seat two rows ahead, then glances over his shoulder.

Our eyes meet.

A cold shiver runs down my spine. I look away fast, face burning.

Sienna drops into the seat beside me, talking before her bag even hits the floor. She spent the night at her boyfriend’s place.

She’s the opposite of me in every way—loud, social, and somehow always knows everyone’s business.

“You look wrecked,” she whispers. “I heard about the bonfire. Spin the bottle? Please tell me you didn’t actually play.”

I mumble something vague and open my laptop, pretending to care about the lecture. Sienna keeps asking questions the whole time, but I barely hear her. My gaze keeps drifting to the back of Elias’s head.

The second class ends, I force myself to move before I lose my nerve. I push through the crowd and catch up to him in the hallway.

He stops when I step in front of him, looking down at me with that blank expression that always makes my mouth go dry.

“Can we talk?” I ask.

He makes a low sound that could mean anything.

I don’t give him time to refuse. I grab his wrist and pull him toward the quiet stairwell at the end of the hall.

His skin is warm. Muscle shifts under my fingers as he lets me drag him along. By the time we reach the landing, my heart is pounding so hard I feel lightheaded.

I let go and take a step back. “I need you to pretend to date me.”

Elias blinks once. Then the corner of his mouth lifts—not quite a smile, more like he’s entertained by something stupid.

“Classic,” he says flatly. “You want to use me to make my brother jealous?”

Heat floods my face. He sees through me immediately.

“I’m not interested,” he adds, already turning away.

Panic hits hard. I lunge forward and catch the front of his shirt before he can leave.

He turns back slowly. Those pale eyes drop to my hand, then rise to my face.

“I won’t fake-date you,” he says.

My stomach drops. “Then what—”

“I want something real.”

I stare at him. “What?”

He steps closer, backing me against the wall without touching me. His voice drops. “I want you. For myself.”

My mind blanks. “You hate me.”

“When did I ever say that?”

The question stops me cold. I open my mouth, then close it. All those times he called me “firefly” like it was an insult… all the moments he ruined… was that actually hate? Or did I get it completely wrong?

Elias reaches down and carefully removes my hand from his shirt, but he doesn’t let go. His fingers wrap around mine, surprisingly gentle.

“Be my girlfriend, Lila.”

My stomach flips.

“I don’t feel things the way other people do,” he continues, voice low and rough. “But with you… it’s loud. Messy. I don’t understand it.”

His thumb brushes over my knuckles.

“If you teach me,” he says, “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

His eyes darken.

I stand there, completely lost. Teach him how to feel? Me?

He’s offering the exact thing I thought I needed—a way to get Ethan’s attention. But the way he’s looking at me right now makes it feel like I’m about to walk into a fire.

“You have until tonight,” he says quietly, then walks away, leaving me frozen on the landing.

Holy shit.

…

By evening I’m drained from thinking in circles. Sienna bursts into our room wearing a tight black top and way too much glitter on her eyelids.

“Get dressed. We’re going to Jake’s party. Off-campus. It’s going to be huge.”

I don’t look up from my notes. “Pass. I need to study. Midterms are coming.”

She rolls her eyes and starts rifling through my closet. “You’ve been sulking since the bonfire. Ethan isn’t worth this. You need to go out and remember there are other guys on this campus.”

I argue the entire walk to the party house. “I’m serious, Sienna. One drink and I’m gone.”

She links her arm through mine and pulls me inside anyway. “You’re twenty. Act like it. Tonight you’re drinking, dancing, and forgetting emotionally unavailable boys exist.”

Deep down I know she’s partly right. Three years of feelings don’t just disappear because someone tells you to get over them. Still, I let her drag me through the crowded living room.

The bass is so loud it vibrates through the floor. People are already drunk and laughing too hard. I grab a red cup of something that tastes like cheap vodka and fruit punch and take a long swallow. The burn helps a little.

Sienna spots her boyfriend and waves me over. I shake my head. “Be right back,” I lie, and slip away before she can stop me.

I wander through the house, avoiding familiar faces. The alcohol warms my stomach, but my chest still feels tight. I need air. Or silence. Or both.

The bathroom door in the hallway is cracked open. I hear voices and the unmistakable sound of kissing. I should keep walking—until I hear Ethan’s voice, muffled but clear.

“Fuck, Sophia… you feel so good.”

My stomach drops. I freeze, cup forgotten in my hand.

Sophia laughs softly. “Tell me again why you let that little shadow follow you around all these years. She’s always there. It’s kind of sad.”

Ethan doesn’t deny it fast enough. He just chuckles. “She’s harmless. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But yeah… she’s been clinging pretty hard lately.”

Harmless.

Clinging.

Sad.

Each word lands like a slap.

The cup trembles in my grip as three years of hope collapse at once.

I was never the girl he wanted. I was just the convenient best friend he didn’t have the courage to shake off.

Tears spill before I can stop them. I turn away, shoulders hunched, and fumble for my phone with shaking hands.

I open the last message from Elias, trying to quiet my breathing.

Elias: Still thinking about that kiss, firefly? Want to make another memory?

My thumbs move fast, driven by pure s

pite.

Me: I’m in.

I hit send, heart hammering.

I just said yes to the devil.

Something tells me there’s no turning back from this.