Chapter 3

Lily glanced at Ethan first, seeking some kind of permission.

Ethan nodded slightly. A tiny movement, but I caught it.

"It's true." Lily turned to me. "It's a program through the dance school. Miss Mia said it's very selective, only the most talented students get in."

"Miss Mia said this kind of experience matters if I want to get into a good dance company later."

My throat clogged with cotton.

"You're eight." I said. "You need to build credentials now?"

"Daisy went when she was eight." Lily said, righteous. "If you don't work hard you get left behind. Dad's right, you don't understand any of this."

Eight years old, lying without flinching, not a trace of guilt on her face. She was becoming exactly like Ethan.

My husband's betrayal cut deep, but my daughter's eyes in that moment—the coldness, the conspiracy—that cut deeper.

This child I carried for ten months, pushing her father's mistress, covering for them.

Didn't she know this would push her mother away? Or did she not want me as her mother at all?

"I won't allow it." I said.

Ethan's face darkened.

"Cathy."

"Three months is too long." I said. "I won't agree—"

"Can you stop trying to control everything?" Ethan's voice dripped with impatience. "This matters for Lily's future."

"I'm doing this for her—"

"You're just trying to control me!" Lily cut me off. "You're always like this! I want ice cream, no. I want to watch TV, no. Now I finally have a chance to go somewhere with Dad and you're blocking it!"

"I'm not—"

"Yes you are!" Lily stepped forward, glaring at me. "I'm happy when I'm with Dad! Not like with you. Being with you just makes me feel suffocated. Even my friends look down on me, having a mother like you!"

Ethan didn't stop her. He leaned back on the sofa, watching.

"Lily," I wanted to explain, to tell her about the rules I made to keep her safe.

"I want to go to this camp." Lily shouted. "I want to go with Dad. I don't want to stay here with you."

Something seized my chest, squeezing my heart until it shattered.

"No." My voice shook. "You're not going anywhere."

Ethan stood up. "Cathy, that's enough. This really is a good opportunity—"

"I know it's an opportunity." I looked at him. "I want to know whose."

Ethan's expression flickered.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You're not taking Lily to Montana." My nails dug into my palms. "You're taking Mia. You're taking her to Europe."

"That's ridiculous." He said.

"Is it? I was outside your office this afternoon." I stood up too. "I came to surprise you. I heard every word you said to Dave."

Ethan's face drained white.

"You're taking that woman to Tuscany for three months." I said. "Using our daughter as your cover."

"You're the one who's suffocating—"

"And you." I turned to Lily. "You're lying for him. You know that woman is going too, don't you?"

Lily froze for a second, then her face twisted with anger.

"So what if I do?" She shouted back. "At least Dad doesn't embarrass me in front of my friends! At least Miss Mia dresses nicely, speaks gently, doesn't act like a crazy woman!"

I stumbled back, catching myself on a dining chair.

"Listen to what you're saying—"

"Look at yourself right now." Ethan's voice turned icy. "Hysterical. Delusional. Cathy, you're really unwell."

"I'm not sick." I stared at him. "You're the sick ones. You're using your daughter to be with that woman. And Mia—her so-called depression is fake!"

"Shut up!" Ethan roared.

"Isn't it?" I pointed upstairs. "Look how she dresses when she comes to 'tutor' our daughter. Those low-cut tops. That suggestive perfume. She puts her hands on your thighs in our living room!"

Ethan strode toward me, like he wanted to shut me up by force.

"Mia is my patient!" He ground out through his teeth. "She's also Lily's teacher. I'm helping her so she'll take better care of Lily."

"She's your mistress!" I screamed. "I've become this—look at me—for this family. And I'm carrying your child right now. And you're planning to abandon me for three months and run off with another woman."

Ethan reached for my arm. "You're insane. Making up lies—"

"I'm not!" I shook him off. "The reason I've been sick, dizzy, gained weight—it's not some illness. It's because I'm pregnant with your child. I got it confirmed at the hospital."

I thought this would stop him. I thought at least this would give him pause.

It didn't.

He just looked at me coldly, let out a short scoff.

"This is your new tactic?" Ethan shook his head. "To stop Lily from going to camp, to keep suffocating me with your control, you'd make up a lie like this?"

"I have the test—"

"Enough!"

This time it was Lily who screamed.

She flew at me like a firecracker, face twisted with rage.

"You're ruining everything!" She shrieked.

She shoved me hard.

"Get away! Stop blocking us from going!"

I lost my balance. My abdomen slammed into the sharp corner of the solid wood coffee table.

The world went white.

A tearing pain exploded in my belly, and then—warmth. Fluid rushing down my legs.