Chapter 182 ‘Next time’
MICHAEL'S POV
In the few days Ryan's parents stayed with us, his mother cleaned every reachable surface in the apartment. And, somehow, several surfaces I hadn't known were reachable. She wiped down the kitchen counters until they gleamed, reorganized the pantry, polished the small dining table, cha...
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Chapters
1. Chapter 1 Life
2. Chapter 2 Contact
3. Chapter 3 Unravelling
4. Chapter 4 Feeling
5. Chapter 5 Obsessed
6. Chapter 6 You again....
7. Chapter 7 Resistance
8. Chapter 8 Borrowed time
9. Chapter 9 How it starts
10. Chapter 10 Curiosity
11. Chapter 11 Chances
12. Chapter 12 Limerence
13. Chapter 13 Depressed?
14. Chapter 14 Longing
15. Chapter 15 A decision
16. Chapter 16 Hopelessness
17. Chapter 17 Loneliness vs Solitude
18. Chapter 18 Regrets
19. Chapter 19 Drifting Through
20. Chapter 20 Just one person
21. Chapter 21 Circling back to you
22. Chapter 22 Not just a kiss
23. Chapter 23 This ends badly
24. Chapter 24 Pride vs Exhaustion
25. Chapter 25 Unfortunately
26. Chapter 26 Yearning
27. Chapter 27 Okay
28. Chapter 28 A safe truth
29. Chapter 29 Quality over time
30. Chapter 30 Pretty bad
31. Chapter 31 Could've been worse
32. Chapter 32 Smitten
33. Chapter 33 Life is labor
34. Chapter 34 List of experiences
35. Chapter 35 I don't want to die
36. Chapter 36 Life is for the living
37. Chapter 37 ...Get to him
38. Chapter 38 It's real
39. Chapter 39 You'll be okay
40. Chapter 40 Miserable
41. Chapter 41 I genuinely like you
42. Chapter 42 Melancholic Immersion
43. Chapter 43 Hope
44. Chapter 44 Noah
45. Chapter 45 Fear of failure
46. Chapter 46 I want you to stay
47. Chapter 47 Why not?
48. Chapter 48 The universe doesn't care
49. Chapter 49 Adventurous
50. Chapter 50 Crazy about you
51. Chapter 51 Desire
52. Chapter 52 Always so careful...
53. Chapter 53 Fate
54. Chapter 54 I'll take care of it
55. Chapter 55 It's later...
56. Chapter 56 Anything
57. Chapter 57 Everything....
58. Chapter 58 Made for me
59. Chapter 59 I want you moved
60. Chapter 60 To be seen like this
61. Chapter 61 We are all fragile creatures
62. Chapter 62 Coward
63. Chapter 63 I feel completely lost
64. Chapter 64 Guard your Identity
65. Chapter 65 Death is Abstract
66. Chapter 66 We crave emotional attention
67. Chapter 67 The version I get
68. Chapter 68 Centered
69. Chapter 69 Reminder
70. Chapter 70 I feel guilty
71. Chapter 71 I've chosen
72. Chapter 72 You made us worry
73. Chapter 73 And then what?
74. Chapter 74 In a minute
75. Chapter 75 Probably
76. Chapter 76 Has to be there
77. Chapter 77 Uncertainty
78. Chapter 78 Expectations
79. Chapter 79 Assurance
80. Chapter 80 The beginning
81. Chapter 81 Time
82. Chapter 82 Love
83. Chapter 83 What it feels like
84. Chapter 84 It's not fair
85. Chapter 85 So Much
86. Chapter 86 No
87. Chapter 87 Some peace
88. Chapter 88 Illness ripples outward
89. Chapter 89 Today feels heavy
90. Chapter 90 Your problems are still relevant
91. Chapter 91 Strings of coincidences
92. Chapter 92 Stubborn Independence
93. Chapter 93 I hate today
94. Chapter 94 Pain can be endured
95. Chapter 95 Start with a letter
96. Chapter 96 Joy is fragile
97. Chapter 97 Concern vs Absorption
98. Chapter 98 Arranging discomfort
99. Chapter 99 Maybe, we'll see
100. Chapter 100 I want you
101. Chapter 101 Definitely in mine...
102. Chapter 102 The mind is a greedy thing
103. Chapter 103 Deceit
104. Chapter 104 The Audacity
105. Chapter 105 Origin Point
106. Chapter 106 We'll keep living
107. Chapter 107 Worlds colliding
108. Chapter 108 State-dependent learning
109. Chapter 109 Everything's temporary
110. Chapter 110 I'm still here
111. Chapter 111 Brain fog
112. Chapter 112 Present continuous
113. Chapter 113 Do the right thing
114. Chapter 114 One day at a time
115. Chapter 115 Start new things
116. Chapter 116 It won't...
117. Chapter 117 Fear
118. Chapter 118 You're hiding from me
119. Chapter 119 You're perfect
120. Chapter 120 Murphy's Law
121. Chapter 121 You can't know
122. Chapter 122 Options
123. Chapter 123 Focus on what's here
124. Chapter 124 The Scarcity Principle
125. Chapter 125 Into the rain
126. Chapter 126 The more we glow....
127. Chapter 127 I'm the signal
128. Chapter 128 Pain is textured
129. Chapter 129 Labord's chameleon
130. Chapter 130 I like you like this
131. Chapter 131 I like normal
132. Chapter 132 For the wind
133. Chapter 133 The world moves too fast
134. Chapter 134 Let's do it...
135. Chapter 135 The "after" bill
136. Chapter 136 Why?
137. Chapter 137 Management
138. Chapter 138 You have to
139. Chapter 139 It's not zero
140. Chapter 140 Trying
141. Chapter 141 A parallel universe
142. Chapter 142 Happy?
143. Chapter 143 Fish libraries
144. Chapter 144 We'll make it bigger
145. Chapter 145 I'm sorry
146. Chapter 146 If I got mean
147. Chapter 147 You're deflecting
148. Chapter 148 We wait for the data
149. Chapter 149 Still in the fight
150. Chapter 150 I wanted to
151. Chapter 151 Hawaii
152. Chapter 152 I'll write your blurb
153. Chapter 153 Chloe Sanders
154. Chapter 154 Thank you
155. Chapter 155 I'm going...
156. Chapter 156 ... everything lets go
157. Chapter 157 A different story
158. Chapter 158 I like us
159. Chapter 159 We'll change the font
160. Chapter 160 Not this month...
161. Chapter 161 Exhale...
162. Chapter 162 Let's get moving
163. Chapter 163 Give me a word
164. Chapter 164 Moment to breathe
165. Chapter 165 Always a person
166. Chapter 166 ...We really don't
167. Chapter 167 Glad I did
168. Chapter 168 Come back as one
169. Chapter 169 To be happy
170. Chapter 170 Only fight worth keeping
171. Chapter 171 Out of hope
172. Chapter 172 How selfish...
173. Chapter 173 Fragility
174. Chapter 174 So damn tired
175. Chapter 175 Just do today, everyday
176. Chapter 176 Solomon's Paradox
177. Chapter 177 Genericization
178. Chapter 178 Get to live
179. Chapter 179 .... waiting
180. Chapter 180 I wish....
181. Chapter 181 I could've done better
182. Chapter 182 ‘Next time’
183. Chapter 183 Play pretend
184. Chapter 184 Cold fear
185. Chapter 185 It's everything
186. Chapter 186 I want my loss to be felt
187. Chapter 187 Counting
188. Chapter 188 We'll win
189. Chapter 189 You just know
190. Chapter 190 Can I stay?
191. Chapter 191 How much worse...
192. Chapter 192 Until
193. Chapter 193 I will
194. Chapter 194 Writing to him
195. Chapter 195 ‘That’ bad
196. Chapter 196 Read slower
197. Chapter 197 I'll manage
198. Chapter 198 Why hadn't I...
199. Chapter 199 Breathe
200. Chapter 200 Ryan Ashbrook
201. Chapter 201 Death
202. Chapter 202 Keep living
203. Chapter 203 Epilogue
204. Chapter 204 Author's note
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