Chapter 203 Epilogue

I folded Ryan’s letter along the creases I’d made when I’d opened it and slipped it carefully into the inside pocket of my coat.

My own letter was still beside me. I looked at it for a long moment.

“I’ll read it to you next time,” I murmured.

I couldn’t do it today. My chest already hurt too much, a...

Chapters

1. Chapter 1 Life

2. Chapter 2 Contact

3. Chapter 3 Unravelling

4. Chapter 4 Feeling

5. Chapter 5 Obsessed

6. Chapter 6 You again....

7. Chapter 7 Resistance

8. Chapter 8 Borrowed time

9. Chapter 9 How it starts

10. Chapter 10 Curiosity

11. Chapter 11 Chances

12. Chapter 12 Limerence

13. Chapter 13 Depressed?

14. Chapter 14 Longing

15. Chapter 15 A decision

16. Chapter 16 Hopelessness

17. Chapter 17 Loneliness vs Solitude

18. Chapter 18 Regrets

19. Chapter 19 Drifting Through

20. Chapter 20 Just one person

21. Chapter 21 Circling back to you

22. Chapter 22 Not just a kiss

23. Chapter 23 This ends badly

24. Chapter 24 Pride vs Exhaustion

25. Chapter 25 Unfortunately

26. Chapter 26 Yearning

27. Chapter 27 Okay

28. Chapter 28 A safe truth

29. Chapter 29 Quality over time

30. Chapter 30 Pretty bad

31. Chapter 31 Could've been worse

32. Chapter 32 Smitten

33. Chapter 33 Life is labor

34. Chapter 34 List of experiences

35. Chapter 35 I don't want to die

36. Chapter 36 Life is for the living

37. Chapter 37 ...Get to him

38. Chapter 38 It's real

39. Chapter 39 You'll be okay

40. Chapter 40 Miserable

41. Chapter 41 I genuinely like you

42. Chapter 42 Melancholic Immersion

43. Chapter 43 Hope

44. Chapter 44 Noah

45. Chapter 45 Fear of failure

46. Chapter 46 I want you to stay

47. Chapter 47 Why not?

48. Chapter 48 The universe doesn't care

49. Chapter 49 Adventurous

50. Chapter 50 Crazy about you

51. Chapter 51 Desire

52. Chapter 52 Always so careful...

53. Chapter 53 Fate

54. Chapter 54 I'll take care of it

55. Chapter 55 It's later...

56. Chapter 56 Anything

57. Chapter 57 Everything....

58. Chapter 58 Made for me

59. Chapter 59 I want you moved

60. Chapter 60 To be seen like this

61. Chapter 61 We are all fragile creatures

62. Chapter 62 Coward

63. Chapter 63 I feel completely lost

64. Chapter 64 Guard your Identity

65. Chapter 65 Death is Abstract

66. Chapter 66 We crave emotional attention

67. Chapter 67 The version I get

68. Chapter 68 Centered

69. Chapter 69 Reminder

70. Chapter 70 I feel guilty

71. Chapter 71 I've chosen

72. Chapter 72 You made us worry

73. Chapter 73 And then what?

74. Chapter 74 In a minute

75. Chapter 75 Probably

76. Chapter 76 Has to be there

77. Chapter 77 Uncertainty

78. Chapter 78 Expectations

79. Chapter 79 Assurance

80. Chapter 80 The beginning

81. Chapter 81 Time

82. Chapter 82 Love

83. Chapter 83 What it feels like

84. Chapter 84 It's not fair

85. Chapter 85 So Much

86. Chapter 86 No

87. Chapter 87 Some peace

88. Chapter 88 Illness ripples outward

89. Chapter 89 Today feels heavy

90. Chapter 90 Your problems are still relevant

91. Chapter 91 Strings of coincidences

92. Chapter 92 Stubborn Independence

93. Chapter 93 I hate today

94. Chapter 94 Pain can be endured

95. Chapter 95 Start with a letter

96. Chapter 96 Joy is fragile

97. Chapter 97 Concern vs Absorption

98. Chapter 98 Arranging discomfort

99. Chapter 99 Maybe, we'll see

100. Chapter 100 I want you

101. Chapter 101 Definitely in mine...

102. Chapter 102 The mind is a greedy thing

103. Chapter 103 Deceit

104. Chapter 104 The Audacity

105. Chapter 105 Origin Point

106. Chapter 106 We'll keep living

107. Chapter 107 Worlds colliding

108. Chapter 108 State-dependent learning

109. Chapter 109 Everything's temporary

110. Chapter 110 I'm still here

111. Chapter 111 Brain fog

112. Chapter 112 Present continuous

113. Chapter 113 Do the right thing

114. Chapter 114 One day at a time

115. Chapter 115 Start new things

116. Chapter 116 It won't...

117. Chapter 117 Fear

118. Chapter 118 You're hiding from me

119. Chapter 119 You're perfect

120. Chapter 120 Murphy's Law

121. Chapter 121 You can't know

122. Chapter 122 Options

123. Chapter 123 Focus on what's here

124. Chapter 124 The Scarcity Principle

125. Chapter 125 Into the rain

126. Chapter 126 The more we glow....

127. Chapter 127 I'm the signal

128. Chapter 128 Pain is textured

129. Chapter 129 Labord's chameleon

130. Chapter 130 I like you like this

131. Chapter 131 I like normal

132. Chapter 132 For the wind

133. Chapter 133 The world moves too fast

134. Chapter 134 Let's do it...

135. Chapter 135 The "after" bill

136. Chapter 136 Why?

137. Chapter 137 Management

138. Chapter 138 You have to

139. Chapter 139 It's not zero

140. Chapter 140 Trying

141. Chapter 141 A parallel universe

142. Chapter 142 Happy?

143. Chapter 143 Fish libraries

144. Chapter 144 We'll make it bigger

145. Chapter 145 I'm sorry

146. Chapter 146 If I got mean

147. Chapter 147 You're deflecting

148. Chapter 148 We wait for the data

149. Chapter 149 Still in the fight

150. Chapter 150 I wanted to

151. Chapter 151 Hawaii

152. Chapter 152 I'll write your blurb

153. Chapter 153 Chloe Sanders

154. Chapter 154 Thank you

155. Chapter 155 I'm going...

156. Chapter 156 ... everything lets go

157. Chapter 157 A different story

158. Chapter 158 I like us

159. Chapter 159 We'll change the font

160. Chapter 160 Not this month...

161. Chapter 161 Exhale...

162. Chapter 162 Let's get moving

163. Chapter 163 Give me a word

164. Chapter 164 Moment to breathe

165. Chapter 165 Always a person

166. Chapter 166 ...We really don't

167. Chapter 167 Glad I did

168. Chapter 168 Come back as one

169. Chapter 169 To be happy

170. Chapter 170 Only fight worth keeping

171. Chapter 171 Out of hope

172. Chapter 172 How selfish...

173. Chapter 173 Fragility

174. Chapter 174 So damn tired

175. Chapter 175 Just do today, everyday

176. Chapter 176 Solomon's Paradox

177. Chapter 177 Genericization

178. Chapter 178 Get to live

179. Chapter 179 .... waiting

180. Chapter 180 I wish....

181. Chapter 181 I could've done better

182. Chapter 182 ‘Next time’

183. Chapter 183 Play pretend

184. Chapter 184 Cold fear

185. Chapter 185 It's everything

186. Chapter 186 I want my loss to be felt

187. Chapter 187 Counting

188. Chapter 188 We'll win

189. Chapter 189 You just know

190. Chapter 190 Can I stay?

191. Chapter 191 How much worse...

192. Chapter 192 Until

193. Chapter 193 I will

194. Chapter 194 Writing to him

195. Chapter 195 ‘That’ bad

196. Chapter 196 Read slower

197. Chapter 197 I'll manage

198. Chapter 198 Why hadn't I...

199. Chapter 199 Breathe

200. Chapter 200 Ryan Ashbrook

201. Chapter 201 Death

202. Chapter 202 Keep living

203. Chapter 203 Epilogue

204. Chapter 204 Author's note

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