Carved To Be A Classy Widow

Matilda

"It's called Stockholm Syndrome, which is a situation where someone stays in a relationship full of violence," Dr. Collin explained.

One hour ago, I came here for healing; this is our third meeting after the first and second days when Dr. Collin only asked me to talk.

I came here after realizing that I had been trapped in the wrong relationship for three years after marrying a wealthy stranger.

"Forgive me, darling, forgive me. I didn't mean to. Please forgive me; don't leave me." Even his apologies often echoed in my ears after he slammed my body hard against the wall, and the image of him kneeling before me, crying as he saw me bleeding, repeatedly crossed my vision.

After all the apologies I gave, we finally divorced a week ago, and for that week, it felt like we were playing a game of cat and mouse. He has been looking for me everywhere to apologize and win me back. Even though I still love him, my desire to break free from him is just as strong. I ran to various places so that I wouldn't be tracked by him, and this week has been safe, but who knows about the next few days?

"Stockholm Syndrome was initially used to explain a psychological bond between hostages and their captors, kidnappers, or similar conditions where one individual has the dominant power to endanger the life of the victim," Dr. Collin explained again.

I would say our relationship is not like a typical husband and wife. My ex-husband Andrew was indeed more dominant. He is the owner of the renowned company Drew Furniture; he roams around on television voicing the spirit of the younger generation and SMEs in achieving their dreams, without anyone knowing he has a wife and has been cruel to her for the past three years.

"I don't have an ideal type, as long as she is kind-hearted, anyone can be my partner." His ambiguous and narcissistic words often make me feel disgusted and sad at the same time.

Andrew doesn't let the public know about me; he is young, handsome, and single all the time. He is surrounded by young women, as well as mothers who want to match their children with Andrew. He is so popular, but I am not even allowed to step out of the vicinity of his luxurious house for a minute. If you think that's normal, then you should see how many bruises he painted on my body. I also ended up in the hospital several times due to bleeding, and the children died because of his actions.

Stupidly, he said it was a form of love, and I believed him.

"Stockholm Syndrome itself is named after the robbery of Sveriges Kreditbank in Stockholm in 1973. The bank robbers, Jan Erik Olsson and Clark Olofsson, were armed and held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28 in 1973. When the victims were finally freed, the hostages' reaction was to hug and kiss the robbers who had held them captive. They emotionally became attached to the captors and defended them."

"Andrew bound me with marriage, we are legally and religiously married. Can it still be called Stockholm Syndrome?" I asked, thinking that Stockholm Syndrome could only be referred to in toxic relationships during dating, or like the case just mentioned between the captor and the captive.

"As studies have progressed, Stockholm syndrome can also be found in intimate relationships such as family or romantic relationships. Stockholm Syndrome involves the perpetrator showing a good side to the victim, and the victim will have hope that the perpetrator will change their behavior in the future, leading to an unhealthy bond and becoming the reason the victim finds it difficult to break free from the relationship." Dr. Collin explained again.

"Then what..." My sentence was not finished when I heard someone pressing Dr. Collin's doorbell repeatedly until it sounded very noisy.

Dr. Collin got up and looked out the window of his office, seeing a number of men outside. "I thought I was never in debt," Dr. Collin murmured, which piqued my curiosity to get up and look out the window.

"Oh God, that's Jimmy! He's my ex-husband's henchman," I said in panic.

"You wait here, I'll go out and convince them. In the meantime, you can hide anywhere because they might come in and search." I nodded in agreement, fully trusting Dr. Collin. As Dr. Collin walked out, I hurriedly approached a cabinet filled with piled-up documents. Under it, there was a spacious enough empty space; if I sat and curled up there, it might be sufficient.

I can't hear anything out there, and while cold sweat starts to soak my body, my hands are trembling. I'm really afraid of being caught and dragged back to Leo's house again. I know that when I encounter that man again, the feeling of love will take over me again, tolerating all his harsh actions. I ran here wanting to save myself; as long as I don't see Andrew, I can be more ruthless with my feelings.

Three minutes it seemed I held this position with mixed feelings until the sound of footsteps entered Dr. Collin office. They really did search, as Dr. Collin suspected. They even ransacked the room, slamming and banging the table roughly, making me flinch several times.

When I saw footsteps approaching my hiding place from the gap under the cupboard—I closed my eyes, and tears fell drop by drop unexpectedly. At that moment, even with my eyes closed, I could feel the cupboard door opening, and the sunlight from the window was blinding my eyes.

"Matilda, they are gone." Dr. Collin's voice made me open my eyes quickly. There was no one else in this room besides Dr. Collin and his smile that calmed his patient. 

I came out of hiding with the help of Dr. Collin's hand. "Calm yourself first." Dr. Collin walked over to get a glass of water from the dispenser in his office to hand it to me. 

"The people sent by your ex-husband could quickly track your whereabouts. Isn't it dangerous on the way home later?" asked Dr. Collin.

"I don't know; I'm scared too. I need a place to hide. Can the you take me to a safe place?"

"I don't know a safe hiding place. But if you want, I can take you to your destination to make sure they don't follow you." Doctor Collin sincerely offered to take me. But I don't know where I should go; both of my parents have passed away. I heard they also went back and forth to my parents' relatives' house to look for me. It seems that this is not a safe place. While thinking, Dr. Collin asked me to sit down again.

However, I still stood there, confused and directionless, tears streaming down unconsciously. If I follow my heart, then I want to go back to Andrew's house, but my logic tells me I have to leave there and heal myself. "I have no destination. I beg you, doctor, can't you hide me anywhere? I am willing to be taken to a mental hospital."