Chapter 2

I could hardly believe it—the renowned Dr. Dick was now wandering through the jungle like a savage.

I picked up leaves from the ground and used ferns and vines to weave myself a pair of shorts.

I pricked up my ears, carefully listening for the movements of the zombie horde. Although I had made my bold declaration, I was still very afraid, being completely unarmed.

"Wooah!" A stumbling zombie was just one bush away from me. It called out "wooah wooah," its exposed nasal bone seeming to sniff, as if truly tracking me.

I pressed against the tree trunk, crouching as I walked. My feet were already bleeding from these stones.

"Damn it!" I clutched my big toe—not because it hurt, but because I remembered that zombies had a keen sense of smell and would track the scent of blood.

"Wah!" The zombie seemed to smell something and began trembling as it walked toward me.

In my panic, I stepped on a frog sitting dazed on a rock, killing it, then carefully waded through the small stream beside me.

"Wah wooo!" The zombie pushed through the bushes and could only see the crushed frog. I hid in the shadows, watching it greedily grab the frog's corpse and continuously gnaw on it, tearing it apart.

I almost vomited. These zombies' feeding methods were more disgusting than I'd imagined.

After eating the frog, the zombie seemed to sense more prey and actually followed my tracks across the river. Could river water not wash away my traces?

The zombie paced in place, seeming to search for more clues. When it stood still, I circled behind it and lifted a large stone from the ground, giving its head a solid whack.

It fell down, calling out.

"Since you've already become a zombie, you surely don't need clothes as much as I do." I stripped it from head to toe, finally having clothes to wear.

I crouched by the river to wash my face, straightening my clothes.

I shook out the pockets—there was still a bit of tobacco residue inside. I poured it into my palm and sniffed greedily, truly missing the days when I could smoke freely.

Sounds came from the surrounding bushes. More zombies were closing in.

With no way out, I climbed up the tree canopy with practiced ease, observing the zombies from the shadows.

Five or six zombies gathered around. I saw them surround the zombie I'd stripped naked, bend down, and let out loud cries.

How utterly barbaric—not even sparing corpses. I couldn't bear to watch anymore, afraid I'd lose my appetite. Better to escape first.

I stretched out my hand, trying to reach a vine on another tree, wanting to swing over to it.

"Fuck!" I didn't watch my footing, stepped into empty air, and fell straight from the tree into the bushes.

Those zombies immediately spotted me. They transferred their target and lunged at me with bared fangs and claws.

"Damn it!" I struggled.

"Let there be light!" I fumbled to pull out the flashlight and turned it on. A beam of intense light shone on these clueless creatures.

"Back! Monsters!" I shouted. The flashlight switched to strobe mode.

The zombies froze in place, holding up their hands, seemingly afraid of my light.

"Yes! Just like that!" I slowly backed away, when an ill-timed wave of laughter overtook me. "This is bad!" I thought to myself, but let out an exaggerated laugh.

"Hahahahahahaha!" I clutched my stomach and mouth, laughing so hard I coughed, and the hand gripping the flashlight gradually lost strength.

I collapsed on the ground, laughing while weakly waving the flashlight, but with very little force, like a person on the verge of starvation trying to swat away flies.

The zombie horde surrounded me. I could feel their disgusting, dirty hands touching my head, my face, my legs.

"Goodbye. The great Dr. Dick is leaving this world again before he could prove his theory. Perhaps the mission of all those previous Dr. Dicks ends with me."

I closed my eyes, letting them tear at my body.

"Why doesn't it hurt at all!" I laughed heartily. "It's like you're tickling me. Are you all toothless?"

They didn't immediately eat me. Instead, they lifted me up, with two zombies firmly gripping me on each side.

"You are...?" I looked in surprise. The zombie I had stripped naked walked up to me, stark naked. I saw it extend its fist and punch me square in the face.

"Zombies hold grudges too?" I laughed as I passed out.