I'm a (Broke) Wizard Streamer Who Does Not Teach Love Potion Brewing!

ᚾᛟᛏᚺᛁᚾᚷ ᚲᚨᚾ ᛋᛏᛟᛈ ᚤᛟᚢ ᚾᛟᚹ

In the year 3000, magic users were officially acknowledged as real. They lived long lives but were few in number, coexisting among ordinary humans for tens of thousands of years.

Once their existence was recognized, they adapted to the times. Many of them integrated magic with technology, creating products and services that made life easier for everyone

Whether it was transportation, media, or industry. Especially streaming technology infused with magic. This allowed viewers not only to experience sharp visuals and clear audio but also realistic scents and tastes. As a result, streaming entertainment became the most popular form of media. You could say that, from the year 3000 onward, the world truly entered a golden age where technology and magic flourished side by side.

“What should we do, Romeo? Our last bit of money is all gone.”

Meowwwwwww

Joel Connolly, a magic user who had lived so long he had lost count of the years, lamented to a plump, solid black cat. The cat sat grooming itself next to the pillow on a five-foot-wide bed.

For as long as he could remember, Joel had never been wealthy magic user. He never cared much about riches anyway, because he did not know how long he would even have to live. Thus, whatever money he earned was spent on his collection.

Before he realized it, the only things left to his name were a single Victorian-style house in the heart of the city, a stash of ores and crystals, some rare herbs and potion ingredients, a little bit of cash in the bank, and one fat cat. The problem now was that he had, in a moment of weakness, spent that little bit of cash on stones.

He was… so utterly hopeless, sitting there with tears streaming down his face, unable to eat a thing…

But seriously, who could resist! Ores were filled with the compressed energies of nature, crystallized into solid form. They were essential for a white wizard like him, who borrowed the power of nature to wield magic. Unlike other witches and wizards who chanted spells to forcibly draw power out.

But times had changed. Naturally occurring ores had become so rare it was disheartening. Maybe he had been too absorbed in writing a new volume of potion recipes, or maybe he spent too long cleaning his collection room—whatever the reason, he had not kept up with current market prices. He ended up spending three times more than he had anticipated. Long, slender fingers tapped thoughtfully together, opal-white irises without pupils glancing toward the shimmering glow of an amethyst crystal as it caught the sunlight, sparkling beautifully.

Sobbb, it’s so beautiful. Its power to ward off evil was brimming. The quality was worth every penny.

But right now, survival mattered more than how sparkly and powerful a mineral was. Besides his own stomach, he also had a fat cat to feed. Joel decided to consult the only friend he had about ways to quickly earn some extra income.

With small hands, he picked up his not-too-old, not-too-new smartphone, opened a messaging app called Blue Bird, or BB for short, and sent his friend a message immediately.

[Joel Connolly] Miguel, are you free? I’d like to get some advice about something.

[Miguel Alvin] How much did you blow this time?

[Joel Connolly] You knew? Heh-heh. So here’s the thing, do you have any suggestions for a quick-paying job? Something that suits me—and legal.

Miguel Alvin was a woman who owned a tea café and bar in an upscale district of London. The shop’s design emphasized wood and minerals, combined with the soothing aroma of tea leaves. It had a way of attracting old-fashioned wizards like Joel to frequent the place.

With Joel’s youthful appearance—looking no older than an eighteen-year-old boy—he caught Miguel’s eye right away. Eventually, they got to know each other well enough to be on head-smacking and back-patting terms, with Miguel never fearing that she might get cursed in the process.

[Miguel Alvin] If you want me to be brutal, how about becoming a sex worker?

[Joel Connolly] Does that pay well?

[Miguel Alvin] Argh!! You old geezer. Try keeping up with the other people!!! And before you even think about working, have you ever considered selling off some of that stuff hoarded in your collection just to survive?

[Joel Connolly] Never thought about it! Not selling!!!

[Miguel Alvin] Okay, okay, I get it, you old fart. But if you really want a job that pays fast, why not try becoming a streamer? It’s all the rage now. I’ve heard of people getting rich off just a single stream.

[Joel Connolly] Streamer, huh?

[Miguel Alvin] Yeah. If you’re interested, here’s a link. Do some research first. If there’s anything you don’t get, just ask me anytime.

//Miguel Alvin sent you a link to UccelloLive//

[Joel Connolly] Thanks so much, Miguel. If I give it a shot and it works out, I’ll let you know.

Joel tapped on the link Miguel had sent him. It was for installing an application called Uccello Live, or UCL for short. It was a streaming app that was currently trending, boasting over five hundred million downloads. The platform owners were clearly wildly successful. The highlight of UCL was its stable server system and a transparent, fair revenue-sharing model. In any given stream, viewers could top up and donate coins as gifts to their favorite streamers without limit—three coins equaled one British pound sterling.

The slender-bodied wizard registered a new account, selecting the purpose of registration as becoming a streamer on the app. While waiting for the system to verify his information, Joel explored the app to see what kind of streams he might be able to do. As soon as he tapped the search button, a sidebar displayed the top five most popular hashtags in the app’s categories:

Top 5 popular this month

[1] #GamingStream[2] #FoodStream

[3] #BeautyStream[4] #LifeCoachStream

[5] #DailyLifeStream

Now where on earth was a wizard like him—who spent his days staring at rocks, growing herbs, and experimenting with potions—supposed to fit in this app? Joel had no idea where to even begin, so he decided to explore each category one by one. Alright then! Time to fight for survival. Please, life, don’t fight back too hard.

He was dirt poor and had a fat cat to feed!!!

Glossary:

Blue Bird (BB): A fictional messaging app, similar in system to LINE.

Uccello: Pronounced "oo-chello," Italian for "bird."

Pound sterling (or pound): The official currency of the United Kingdom. One pound is divided into 100 pence. It is the oldest currency still in use today. (As of April 2022, 1 GBP = 43.72 THB.)