In My Darkest Hour You Are My Light
Saylam Mangenda · Ongoing · 63.8k Words
Introduction
Things changed when I saw her.
She looked different. She wasn't the same little girl I had fallen in love with. She was now a grown woman.
She was gorgeous.
I needed her beneath me just for one night. I'd get her out of my system and move on.
That was probably a lie.
Months later.
Here I am drowning my sorrow in alcohol on my last night as a single man.
I was getting married to a woman I never truly loved.
Tara gave me a shy smile as she approached the aisle with her father.
Kelsey looked away and ignored me.
I was about to slide the ring on Tara's finger and her father's voice stopped me.
"Stop."
I turned around and faced him.
Tara grabbed his hand angrily.
"Dad what are you doing?!"
Chapter 1
MARCUS'S POV
How it all began.
"Chelsea I'm sorry just try to understand I did all this because…" I couldn't let the words leave my mouth.
Her eyes met mine as she gave me a disappointed look.
"Because what Marcus?" She demanded tearfully. Making her cry was never my intention and it made me feel like a total jerk.
"You ruined my life Marcus in your own fucked up away. You know when Max told me that you're the one who purposely got me fired I didn't want to believe him. Because I trusted you but I didn't know that you were a physco."
I couldn't just let her walk away from me I knew that I had messed up big time and when all my shit got revealed. I had no proper explanation; it just made me look like a selfish greedy prick who wanted a woman all to himself.
"Just let me explain myself I know it doesn't make sense Chelsea,but just try to hear me out."
She crossed her arms over her chest.
"I met a girl when I was a grumpy teenager. I wanted nothing to do with her because she had everything I wanted."
"A loving family."
"I was jealous of her because I had a messed up family that beat me up and abused me everyday."
I could see the tears in her eyes but I couldn't stop now I had to be honest with her and tell how I got messed up.
"She was my next door neighbor. She had bright red silky hair and green eyes that showed the depth of her kind heart. She was an angel and I was the devil Chelsea. She wanted to be my friend but I had rejected her because I couldn't bear my happy smile while I was suffering."
"I was just a boy who was full of darkness, a darkness that I had gotten from my nasty father. I wished that she would just stay away from me and let me be in my dark place where I always tried to find comfort."
"She was full of light that changed everyone when she smiled at you. It changed me but she was gone and I never heard from her ever again."
"When I had decided to finally let her into my heart she walked away from me. I was broken,angry,sad and hurt. I had vowed to never be weak and be a victim of love."
I swallowed hard grasping both of her cold hands in mine.
"It took me a while to realize that I loved her even if I didn't want to admit it. I still love you Chelsea and I'll always love you."
She stared at me with wide eyes, tears still rolling down her cheeks and I wiped them away.
"Marcus you've destroyed everything between us and I don't know if I'll ever trust you again" she whispers softly.
I nodded.
"It's not enough…"
"I know" I rasped quietly as I stroked her cheek gently. I had missed her terribly having so close to me again made me feel stronger.
She pulled away from my arms.
"You're getting married tomorrow Marcus to Tara and there's no us anymore you already lost the both of us" she whispered as she caressed her swollen pregnant bump.
"This is goodbye and I wish all the best in your new life… I'm happy for you."
"Chelsea it doesn't have to end like this I can call everything off with just a single call don't leave me."
"Stay…" I whispered and crushed my lips on hers roughly tasting her sweetness.
"Please" I pleaded once I pulled back.
"Goodbye Marcus" she said softly and began to walk away.
I had brought this upon myself and maybe I deserve to feel this kind of pain. I lost Chelsea and I would never see our child be born. For a while I just stood there helpless and lost. I didn't know what to do to get out of this situation overnight.
She was the reason why I had changed for the better I couldn't lose her for the second time. It was my fault that she was gone. I had pushed her away and now she was gone. Her words still made my heart ache with pain. The pain of losing her sucked and I probably deserved it.
Max ruined everything by telling her the truth.
There goes my heart beating
Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
There goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
And I need you now
If I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
I don't wanna fight no more
I don't wanna hide no more
I don't wanna cry no more
Come back I need you to hold me
(You are the reason)
Come a little closer now
Just a little closer now
Come a little closer
I need you to hold me tonight
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
Maybe I just had to accept that I had finally lost her for good this time. For the first time in my life I wish that I could turn back time and I could find a way to make her stay.
When I met her for the first time my life was just black and grey and I was just a black haired boy who was broken. I never had the perfect loving family like every lucky kid out there.
A girl with red hair had moved in next door with her family. She was an angel and I was the devil too dangerous that I would taint her pure aura.
But as stubborn as she is she never wanted to stay away from me.
Chelsea was the definition of practically perfect.
When I was a kid I was always bullied at school and I was too scared to fight back and defend myself.
"Hey weirdo I see that you've got some nice lunch and hand it over" ordered Sam as he stared at my homemade apple pie.
My six year old self was frozen too weak to do anything by then I was always a wimp.
But the voice inside kept saying fight back Marcus or they will walk all over you.
"I-I won't give you my lunch," I said quietly and stood up from my seat.
Sam chuckled pushing his friends aside to make room for him.
"So you think that you're tough Marcus huh?" He demanded angrily and started pushing me hard.
My lips started trembling.
"Are you gonna cry wimp?"
I tried to punch him,but he dodged my blow and pushed me twisting my arm in the process. His grip got tighter and I heard my arm finally snap like a twig.
"Ahhh stop it hurts" I cried bitterly.
Sam smirked and released me.
I slumped to the ground whimpering in pain bitter tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried alone.
That day I went back home with a broken arm.
"You're a loser Marcus if you were my really my son you would have fought back like a man" father said angrily.
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