Chapter 2 I Want to Kiss You
Eleanor 's POV
Julian's hand covered my eyes. His other arm locked around my waist, holding me up.
"Listen to me." His voice was low, urgent. "I'm going to let go. You breathe. Smile. Don't you dare cry."
Outside, Arthur's voice got closer. "Come on, it's freezing. Let's get inside."
Oh God.
Julian's hand lifted. The firelight hit my eyes. Chloe stood frozen by the kitchen. Blake and Zach were coming out of the game room, their faces full of dread.
I dug my nails into my palms. The pain helped.
The door opened.
Arthur walked in, snowflakes in his dark hair. "Sorry we're late, everyone!"
Then she appeared.
Tall. Elegant. Long brown hair falling over a burgundy coat. She unwrapped her scarf, and I saw the Cartier bracelet on her wrist.
Arthur's arm went around her waist. Easy. Natural.
"This is Vivienne Ashford." He smiled. "My girlfriend."
Girlfriend.
"Oh my God," Chloe breathed behind me.
I forced my lips into a smile. The kind I'd practiced at Sterling family dinners. Bright. Empty.
Blake fumbled his beer. "Uh... hey. Welcome."
Zach cleared his throat. "Traffic must've been bad?"
Julian said nothing. He leaned against the fireplace, hands in his pockets. His eyes dark, fixed on Arthur.
Vivienne glided forward, hand extended. "It's so nice to meet you all. Arthur talks about you constantly."
She moved through the room. Shaking hands. Smiling.
"You must be Chloe. Marine Biology with Elle?"
Chloe managed a strained smile. "Yeah. Roommates."
"And Blake—Arthur mentioned you play football?"
"Rugby, actually." Blake corrected quickly.
"And you're interning at Morgan Stanley?" She looked at Zach.
"Goldman Sachs."
Then she turned to me.
"And Elle!" Her voice was warm. Almost sisterly. "Arthur's told me so much about you. You're like a little sister to him."
Little sister.
My hand tightened around the champagne flute.
"Nice to meet you." My voice sounded far away.
I shook her hand. Firm grip. Expensive perfume.
Julian made a sound. Half laugh, half scoff.
Arthur's head snapped toward him. "Something funny?"
Julian shrugged. That infuriating smirk. "Nothing. Congratulations, bro. She's perfect."
Arthur crossed to me. Ruffled my hair like always. "Elle, you look beautiful tonight."
His eyes dropped to my dress. Frowned. "But aren't you cold? It's ten below out there."
Cold. He's worried I'm cold.
"I'm fine." My voice was tight. "There's a party later."
"Oh right, the club thing." Arthur's face lit up. He pulled Vivienne close. "Perfect. Viv can meet everyone. You're going to love it, sweetheart—"
I stopped listening.
Julian laughed again. Sharper this time.
Arthur turned. "Seriously, what's your problem?"
"No problem." Julian straightened. His gray-blue eyes glinted. "Just admiring how oblivious you are."
"Where's our room?" Arthur interrupted, his gaze flickering toward me before darting away. His hand rested on Vivienne's back.
"At the far end of the second floor," I mumbled to the floor, wringing my hands.
They went upstairs. Her laugh echoed down the hall.
Chloe rushed over. "Elle—"
"Don't." I jerked away. Champagne sloshed. "I'm fine."
Julian stayed by the fireplace. Watching me.
"Still going to that party?" His voice was casual.
I lifted my chin. "Why not? I look great. I should have fun."
"Bad idea."
"Don't care."
Julian studied me. Shook his head. "You're going to regret this."
"Probably." I drained my champagne. "But right now? I really don't give a fuck."
The party was already wild when we got there. Massive bonfires. DJ booth pulsing. Ice sculptures as bars. Industrial patio heaters glowed orange, creating pockets of warmth. Colored lights turning the snow into something almost pretty.
I'd changed. Black sequined mini dress. Leather jacket. Dark makeup.
"Babe, maybe you should—" Chloe tried to grab my arm.
"I'm going to have the time of my life tonight." I headed straight for the ice bar.
Wyatt was already there. He turned, saw me. "Whoa, Elle. You okay?"
"Perfect." I pushed past him. "Tequila shots. Three. Now."
"Elle—" Chloe reached for me.
"I'm fine!" I threw back the first shot. Slammed it down. Grabbed the second.
Blake appeared. "Slow down—"
I downed the third. "I know what I'm doing."
Grabbed champagne. Walked away.
Behind me, I heard Wyatt's low voice. "Where's Julian?"
"Probably planning to make it worse," Chloe muttered.
The music was loud. Bodies everywhere. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back. Let the snow fall on my face.
Someone caught my elbow.
"Easy there, Red."
Julian.
My eyes flew open. "What do you want?"
"To stop you from doing something stupid on my watch." He took my champagne.
"Hey!"
"Dance with me first." He smirked. Set the glass on a tray. "Come on. Show me you can still stand."
"You're such an asshole."
"Yeah, but I'm a useful asshole." He pulled me into his arms. "Now move before you fall on your face."
The music was loud. Bass vibrating my ribs. I was drunk enough not to fight.
His hand on my waist. His other holding mine.
"You happy now?" My words slurred slightly. "Watching me humiliate myself?"
"I'm watching a trainwreck in real time." His voice was dry. "Not exactly fun."
"You were right." I laughed. Bitter. "He only sees me as his little sister."
"He saved my life, Julian." Tears mixed with melted snow on my cheeks. "When I was eight. At the Greenwich pier. The water was so cold and I couldn't breathe and he—he jumped in. He pulled me out. How do I just... forget that?"
"I know. I was there." His jaw clenched. "Twelve years old. Useless as hell while my perfect brother saved the day."
The song changed. Slower. He adjusted our movement.
My head dropped against his shoulder.
"Why are you always so annoying?" I mumbled.
His throat moved. "Because I like ..."
I lifted my head. Even drunk, I caught something in his voice.
His breath caught. For a moment, he forgot to move.
Across the bonfire, Blake nudged Zach. They were watching us.
"Dude," Blake's voice carried. "Look at them."
"Yeah," Zach said quietly. "I see it."
Then—
"Elle!"
We both turned.
Arthur. Vivienne in a deep red dress beside him. His face full of concern.
But something in his eyes looked tired. Like he was playing a role.
Vivienne touched his arm. "Are you okay, darling?"
"I'm fine." Arthur smiled at her.
He looked at me. "You've had too much to drink. Julian, take her back."
Something in Julian's face changed.
"She said she's fine." His voice went cold.
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "This isn't your business."
"Isn't it?" Julian stepped forward. Put himself between Arthur and me. "You brought your girlfriend to Elle's trip. Called her your 'little sister' in front of everyone. And you're surprised she's upset?"
"Don't." I pushed past Julian. Swayed. "Don't fight about me. I'm not worth it."
"Elle—" Arthur reached for me.
I jerked away. "I'm going back. Alone."
"No, you're not." Julian caught my wrist. "You can barely walk."
"Then I'll crawl." I met his eyes. "Let go."
"Not a chance."
My shoulders sagged. I let him pull me away.
The walk back was quiet. Just snow crunching. My occasional stumble. Julian's arm around my waist, holding me up.
"Julian." I stopped in the middle of the trail. Snow in my hair. "Would I be happier if I'd never met him?"
He was quiet, then whispered, "Maybe. Why can't you... why can't you look at the people around you?"
By the time we reached the lodge, I could barely stand. My head lolled against his shoulder.
"I don't want to go to my room." I leaned against the wall.
I refused to go back to the second floor. It was too close to theirs. Julian sighed and dragged me up the stairs to the third floor, leaning me against the wall outside an empty room next to his.
"You need to sleep."
"I don't want to be alone."
He crouched down. Started unlacing my heels. "Fine. I'll stay until you fall asleep."
My hand went to his head. Fingers in his hair. "You're really nice."
"I'm really not."
"No." My drunk logic made me chaotic. "You are. You're nice and you're—"
I tilted his chin up. The hallway light caught his face. Gray-blue eyes. Sharp jaw.
But everything was blurry. Spinning.
Whoever you are... you're so beautiful.
"You're really handsome."
He went still. "Elle, you're drunk."
"I know." My thumb traced his jaw. "But you're still... so handsome."
"Stop—"
"I want to kiss you."
