
Alpha's Regret: Losing His True Mate
Only_Shila · Ongoing · 307.4k Words
Introduction
But his bedmate. His Gamma. His shadow in the night.
Alpha Calhoun made sure no man dared touch me, no wolf dared look at me. I was his possession, his secret, his sin wrapped in skin. And I endured it all—his rough hands, his dark devotion, his kisses that tasted like fire and chains because at least, for a while, he was mine.
Until she returned. His destined mate. His so-called true love.
And suddenly, I was nothing. Cast aside, silenced, left to wither in the shadows of a love that had never been mine to claim.
But the thing about being claimed by a man like Calhoun… is that he never truly lets you go.
"Try to leave me, Elodie," his voice had been a snarl against my throat, his grip bruising my waist. "I'll burn down every border, tear apart every wolf that stands in my way, until you crawl back to me. You're mine, even if the Moon Goddess herself wants to rip you away."
He didn’t know then that I already had one foot out the door.
And when I finally left his pack…
I took more than just my broken heart with me.
Chapter 1
ELODIE’S POV~
My heart broke into a million pieces as I stared at the paper right in my hands.
He signed my resignation today, and he didn’t blink.
Years of standing by him, loving him only to realize I was nothing.
“Do you want me to tell him?” The voice snapped me out of my trance once more. I stiffened.
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard.
The sting in my mouth was nothing compared to the pain crashing through my chest like someone had taken a fistful of daggers and was driving them through me .
My hand curled tighter around the resignation papers. I couldn’t look at the laptop screen anymore, not with the tears threatening to fall.
So I turned my head, sucked in a shaky breath, and blinked hard. My vision was already starting to blur.
God.
This hurt more than I thought it would.
“I… I don’t think you should worry about it,” I forced my voice not to crack. My throat burned as I dropped the paper beside my bag on the floor.
“There’s no need anymore. He signed it. It’s time for me to leave.”
I heard the HR director sigh, and for a second, I didn’t want to see her face.
But I did.
Her eyes were soft with worry as she leaned closer into the video call.
“Elodie… please don’t go.” Her voice was gentle.
“Alpha Calhoun didn’t realize it was your resignation. He signed it without even reading. You’ve been his right hand for years. He depends on you more than anyone else. He values you, Elodie. This isn’t just another role to fill. You’re not replaceable.”
My lips twitched. And not in a smile.
Valued?
Me?
I bit down harder on the inside of my lip to keep myself from laughing. Or screaming.
What a joke.
If he did, Wouldn’t he have come rushing in by now? Wouldn’t there be a single phone call? A message?
I nodded slowly and drew in a breath.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’ve thought this through. I’ve given everything I could. Even though I’ve been his Gamma all these years… I know Calhoun will find someone else. He always does.”
I blinked through the burning in my eyes and continued. “I just… I need to go back to my pack. I got word that my parents aren’t doing well. I want to be with them while I still can. I’ll stay for the next month to handle all the transition processes. But after that…”
I swallowed hard.
“I’ll be gone. Thank you so much for everything.”
The HR director’s face fell.
And that more than anything broke me. Even she didn't even know what to say.
Then the screen went blank. Then I broke into tears.
I buried my face in my palm, sucking in a breath so sharp it scraped my throat raw. Then I stood, wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, and walked over to the corner of the room where my boxes sat.
The villa was silent.
Four whole years in this private cliffside sanctuary—Calhoun’s luxurious little exile for me.
He gave me this place. Told me it was mine.
But it never felt like home.
My hands moved on their own as I started packing.
I didn’t have much. Just a few clothes. Some books. A mug he once left on the counter and never asked back for.
I left that one behind.
The things that didn’t matter and The things he’d never notice were missing. Maybe when he finally came here again, he’d toss them out.
The moment I sealed the last box, I just… stood there…Breathing.
But my heart… My heart clenched so tight I had to grab the edge of the table to keep from dropping to the floor.
Tears came again.
But this time, I didn’t fight them.
I let them fall.
Because no one was watching.
Because for once, I could fall apart in peace.
I didn’t even notice how tight I’d been holding a box until it hit the floor and scattered the few items I had left. Memories of nine whole years began…crashing in without warning.
My chest tightened, and I pressed a palm against it, as if that could stop the way it felt like I was being torn open from the inside out.
God, I was just a Gamma back then. A nothing. A girl with scars on her confidence and hands that shook every time someone of higher rank looked her way. But somehow…I don’t know how—I passed that scholarship exam and got accepted into the elite academy run by the Nightbourne Pack.
I should’ve been proud.
Instead, I wished I could vanish into the walls the moment I arrived.
The halls were all glass and silver. The students? Dressed like royalty.
And me?
I couldn’t even look up without catching the scorn in their eyes.
The way they stared like I’d crawled out of a sewer.
Like I didn’t belong.
I remember it clearly. That first day. I was supposed to attend Advanced Political History in Room B2—but I was already turning around. I wasn’t going in there. Not with them. I was going to skip it. Hide in the back gardens. Maybe cry.
That’s when I bumped into Mila Damaris.
She looked at me like I wasn’t dirt. She asked what class I had, and before I could stammer out a full sentence, she was dragging me there herself.
And just like that… I became part of her world.
I didn’t know then.
God, if I had… maybe I’d have run.
Because if I’d known what loving someone from that world would do to me…If I’d known it would end like this…Maybe I would’ve said no.
But I didn’t.
I followed her everywhere she wanted me to. Slowly, Mila became my best friend. She introduced me to everyone like I was someone. Even her family.
And that was the night I met Calhoun. Her older brother. The heir to the Nightbourne Pack.
God, I remember the first time I saw him.
He barely looked at me.
But I swear, something in me shifted. My wolf went wild, purring, pulling me toward him.
I thought maybe—just maybe…he was my mate.
But what was I supposed to do with that? I was a Gamma.
He was an Alpha born.
So I buried it. Deep. So deep it burned.
Then we graduated. Mila left, said she was off to Italy to expand her family’s business and take on further studies. She asked me to come.
I refused and stayed. Not because I had anything left here…
But because of Calhoun, was still here.
And I was stupid enough to want to be near him.
So I applied. Took the job as his Gamma. His assistant.
And he accepted, although he kept me a little close. That should’ve been enough.
But then came that night. The Pack’s annual gala.
Everyone was there. And I noticed Calhoun standing by the archway, eyes glassy, his fingers rubbing at his temple.
Something was wrong.
I could smell it. Something in his scent—off.
Then he staggered. Just a little. But I saw it.
And because I’m a fool, I followed him past the hall. Into the dim corridor.
I should’ve turned back.
I was reaching for my phone when I heard his pained growl. And then… he turned.
His eyes were glowing amber.
His wolf was trying to break through.
“Calhoun—wait—just hold on—I’m calling someone—”
But I never made the call. He was suddenly in front of me, breathing hard, his hand slamming beside my head against the wall. And then…He kissed me.
No… he didn’t kiss me.
He devoured me.
And I… I let him.
I should’ve pushed him away. But instead, I closed my eyes and let my stupid heart believe, for just one second, that he wanted me.
Then the Morning After…
I should never have woken up.
Not in that bed. Not in that room.
For a second, the world was quiet, and for the first time in forever. Until my eyes opened.
Calhoun was there, sitting in the chair by the window. One leg crossed, arms resting lazily, as though he’d been watching me sleep all night. His dead eyes were fixed on mine, so empty they sucked the air out of my lungs. There wasn’t even a flicker of emotion on his face.
My stomach clenched.
And then I realized. I was naked.
God… this was my first. I gave him my first! Pain knotted in every part of my body, not just the physical ache, but something else. Something that screamed I had made a mistake so massive I might never recover.
I tried to sit up. Even breathing felt like punishment.
Calhoun didn’t move. He just leaned back, eyes still locked on me like he was watching something insignificant.
Then he spoke coldly. “I know you like me. I knew the moment Mila brought you to the family villa.”
I froze. My lips parted, but nothing came out.
“No need to pretend. I know,” he leaned forward. “But don’t get your hopes high. I’d never like someone like you. What happened last night was a mistake… and it should stay that way.”
The words hit me like a slap, but his face didn’t flinch. Not even a flicker of guilt.
I was a mistake?
I should have said something. Screamed. Slapped him. But my voice was gone. My heart… sank.
Then he stood. Casually.
He walked over to the drawer, pulled something out. A black card. Tossed it on the bed like it was trash.
“Mila told me about you,” he muttered, still not looking at me. “Struggling family. Gamma blood. Trying to make something out of your life.”
He turned to leave, then added without flinching,
“There’s enough money in there to set you up. You can thank me later.”
That was the moment my tears began to sting, my throat clenching with humiliation I didn’t know how to swallow.
But he didn’t stop. He looked me straight in the eyes, and said,
“Don’t give me that look. I’m in love. I have a mate. Let’s both forget this ever happened.”
He was cruel. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. And I hated that I had let myself dream. Even for one night.
Because suddenly, I remembered Mila’s voice in my head again.
“He’s obsessed with Carmela Reyes. You know, the girl from the neighboring Pack who keeps cheating on him? He’ll never stop running after her.”
And she was right.
He’d never stop chasing someone who kept hurting him, and I… I was just the fool who thought maybe I could be something different.
My tears came before I could stop them.. But he didn’t even spare me a glance as he began to walk toward the door.
“Wait!” I gasped, dragging the sheets with me, stumbling out of bed. I was shaking. I didn’t care if I looked pathetic.
“I don’t want your money,” My voice cracked. “I just want a chance to prove I could be meant for you.”
He stopped.
Then he turned. Rolled his eyes, and walked out.
And That was the beginning of my hell.
From that day forward, we were nothing but strangers in the day, and at night…I became his assistant. His sex toy. Nothing more.
I tried so hard. I bought gifts, small things I thought would make him smile. He never opened them. I found them in the trash. All of them.
But nothing prepared me for his birthday. That night, I sat on the floor of my room, clutching a stupid little box of cufflinks I never got to give him—while he posted a picture on his social feed. Him and
Carmela Reyes, as he kissed her.
And it hit me : I would never be enough. I would never heal from this.
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard, I tasted blood. I was done crying. I swear.
I snapped out of the past, grabbed my box of things and headed toward the door. But the moment I opened it, I gasped.
Calhoun was standing there, leaning lazily against the doorframe.
His voice was casual. Like I wasn’t dying inside.
“Where are you going?”
My chest tightened. “I found a new apartment. I’m moving out.”
He hummed. “I’ll drive you.”
I said quickly, hugging the box tighter to my chest. “It’s not that far.”
His jaw clenched. “I wasn’t asking.”
I didn’t argue again.
We walked to his Porsche in silence. But the moment I stepped in, I knew something was wrong.
It reeked of floral perfume. Pink dolls…were placed carefully in the dashboard and on the seat.
He saw the way I looked at them. He rolled his eyes.
“Carmela wanted a change. I had to give it to her.”
My heart cracked.
This was the car Whispered things I stupidly believed. Fucked me. And now… it was hers. Everything was hers.
The box slipped from my arms, crashing onto the floor. Glass shattered.
I scrambled to gather the pieces, but a shard sliced deep into my palm. Blood welled instantly.
“Shit,” Calhoun growled, reaching toward me.
But before his fingers could touch me, his phone buzzed.
He paused. Then picked it up.
“Cal, baby, I cut my hand,” Carmela whined from the other end. “It’s bleeding. Come home, please.”
I froze.
Calhoun sighed. Then looked down at me. “I’ll call my Beta to come get you. Just stay still.”
And then he was gone.
I was left there. Bleeding. On the ground. Glass stuck in my skin.
My chest squeezed tightly.
“You’ll get what you want, Calhoun. I’ll never love you again.”
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