Chasing His Silent Luna Back

Tessa's POV

While I'm still lost in the haze of our morning lovemaking, my husband Evander has already let go of me and climbed out of bed.

No matter how he touches me like I'm the only woman in his world, making me believe that the fire in his eyes means something more, he always returns to his usual detached self the second we finish.

But I crave it anyway.

I watch his strong, muscular body stretch out. He seems to glow in the aftermath of our lovemaking, hair ruffled, face ever so slightly flushed.

"Put on your hearing aids," Evander says to me, pointing to his own ears as a reminder while he reaches for his collared shirt, which had been tossed to the ground in the throes of our morning passion.

It takes me a second to process the words due to my hearing impairment, but once I do, I nod and reach for my hearing aid on the nightstand.

A small piece of familiar weight slides into place, and the silence around me starts to fade.

"I won't be coming home tonight." Evander's voice is deep, steady, and slow enough for me to understand what he's saying. "There's a mating ceremony over in Pine Grove, and I'll be staying overnight."

My fingers clench the sheets in pain, but this isn't new.

Although the words land heavily, I'm used to this by now.

We have been married for years, but Evander has been attending mating ceremonies incessantly to try and look for his Fated mate.

Evander and I may be mates, but we're Chosen mates–our bond isn't a gift from the Goddess, rather, we've chosen each other's companionship for purely practical reasons.

And Evander didn't choose me for love. Our marriage is little more than a glorified business contract to merge my late Alpha father's assets with those of Evander's family.

My mother died when I was young. And when I was twenty, my father passed away, too.

My father knew that without him, I'd be lost; I would have been nothing but a target. A lone deaf Alpha daughter? That would've practically been an invitation for the rich and powerful to use me, especially the board of directors of our family business.

So he made sure I'd be protected.

My father had me married off to Alpha Evander, whose Alpha father was an old family friend, and whom I had a crush on ever since I was a teenager.

It was a strategic choice, in the end. Evander took over my family's business, and he's since used the extra wealth to become even more influential in our society, while I've been protected by someone I like.

However, Evander agreed this with one condition—if he ever finds his Fated mate after our business merged, his family will still protect me, but he'd no longer play the role of my husband.

After all, he wants to run for Alpha President someday. And I suppose a disabled wife won't do much for his public image.

Part of me still hopes that one day, he'll stop looking.

That he'll see me.

I try my best to make this a real marriage, and he hasn't found his fated mate yet.

We marked each other in the Marking Ceremony when we got married, after all. We're chosen mates. That's not nothing.

Besides, he seems to love me so much in bed. We have sex every day, sometimes even two or three times, and he's always so tender with me then.

Evander finishes changing into his clothes–a smart business casual outfit, shirt and slacks pressed and completely wrinkle-free. He looks unbearably handsome.

As Evander continues to get ready for the day, I notice that his collar is askew. A sudden impulse makes me reach up to smooth it. It's a strangely nostalgic gesture, reminding me of how I used to do it for my father before his meetings.

Evander freezes for a second. "What are you doing?"His brows pull together, almost frowning.

I hesitate. Because of my hearing impairment, it always takes me awhile to speak. "Your… your collar."

"Next time, let me handle it myself," he says. "You don't need to pretend to be my loving wife, Tessa. You know what this marriage is for both of us."

The way he says it reinforces the fact that I'm just an agreement to him.

But what if… what if I'm not pretending? I want to ask.

I don't, though.

I know it wouldn't change a thing.

Before I can say anything else, Evander has already pushed open the bedroom door and walked out.

I breathe out a heavy sigh. Even after all these years of marriage, I couldn't understand him. In bed, he could be warm, but outside of it, he built walls that I could never climb. And I fear that there will always be this wall.

I take my time getting dressed, tugging on a simple floral dress and tying the ribbon around my waist. I quickly sweep my hair into a flowing half-up half-down braid and pull on a pair of wedge sandals.

When I make my way downstairs to see Evander off, his Beta, a tall, slender woman named Carol, is already waiting for us.

Evander eats his meal quickly as she rattles off his schedule quickly and efficiently.

"You'll arrive in Pine Grove at noon," Carol begins. "You'll all be given some time to settle in, and then the programming begins at two."

She pauses, glancing at her phone before continuing. "There will be a social mixer until five, and then cocktail hour, and then a more formal dinner. There will be an hour or so reserved for the actual Mating Ceremony, and then…"

"And then the formal scheduling ends?"

"That would be correct," Carol replies, tucking her phone back into her pocket.

Looking at Carol, I can't help but think that I'm not even as useful to him as his Beta.

My deafness, my weakness.

Evander finishes off his breakfast just as I'm finished loading up my plate.

"I'll be heading out now," he says, leaving his dishes on the table for a maid to collect.

Just then, his mother Madeleine sweeps into the room. "You're leaving?" She asks him.

Evander nods.

"Good luck," she says, setting a hand on her hip. "And remember–if you don't find your fated mate at this ceremony, it's time for you to have an heir with Tessa."

My heart skips a beat.