Entangled with the Bullies

Trigger Warning: Sucicide Attempt

**Winter

Past**

*Tears filled the brim of my eyes as I looked down at my phone. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This all had to be a horrible dream. I wanted to pinch myself and wake up. How could this happen to me? How? I was always a good girl. I always did what I was told. I got good grades and everything. I did everything right. Why would anything like this happen to me?

I heard a creak coming from behind me. I quickly turn around to see him standing there looking at me. I couldn’t believe he was here. He had some nerve to show up after everything. I couldn’t look him in the eye as I turned back away. “Go away,” I said shaking my head. “Haven’t you done enough?” I yell towards him as tears start to go down my face. I couldn’t believe he would even try to confront me right now. After what he just did to me. He exposed me to everyone. I knew it had to be him and his friends. They were the only ones who had the pictures.

No response came from him. I could hear them shuffling behind me, but they said nothing back. “Why do you do this to me? Why do you keep doing this to me? What have I ever done to you?”

Nothing. Tears were falling down my face now. I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t want to. I wanted him to see what he has done. See that he had hurt me. He had won. Whatever stupid fucking prize he was after.

He stuffed his hands in his pocket. “Winter, this isn’t what you think it is-”

“Fucking save it,” I yell. “You won! I give up. You win! You get exactly what the ever the hell you wanted.”

“Winter,” he sighed. “This isn’t what I wanted.” He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell he looked like he was upset too. I didn’t care though. I was fuming mad right now.

I walk over to him and push him out of my room to the best that I could. This was kind of hard with him being so tall, but I kept on trying to push him out. He finally took the hint and left the room leaving me alone.

I locked the door behind him, so he couldn’t sneak back in. I didn’t want to deal with him. Not right now. My phone had been going off nonstop since I put it down. I had a good guess of what it was full of. As I unlocked it, getting a preview of the comments I was right.

“God, what a whore.”

“I always knew she was into her step-brother, ew.”

“Wow, just like her mother, nothing but a gold-digging slut.”

“No wonder her father left her. I would too if my daughter did something like that.”

“She should just end it now, she’s never going to live this down.”

I threw my phone against the wall. What did those idiots know? They didn't know what they were talking about. They didn’t know what was going on in those photos. They just knew that they saw.

Their words stuck in my head though. I couldn’t get them out. They were ringing in my ear. Whore. Slut. They even mentioned my dad. Someone I had never even met. Why? Why did he do this to me? Why did they do this to me? Wasn’t having my virginity enough? They took that. I had always wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and was going to marry. They took that away from me. Not that I put up much of a fight. Not that I was even really tired to stop them. They still shouldn’t have done it though.

I should have known it wouldn’t be enough. It would never be enough for them. They would always want more from me. When I didn’t give it to them, this was my punishment.

I needed to end it. I had to end it all. I couldn’t deal with this pain anymore. I had to end it all. I quickly left for my mother’s room.

He saw me as soon as I left my room and pulled me back. “Winter,” he begged. “You have to listen to me,” He started, but I stopped him.

“Save it, I don’t have to listen to you. How many times do I have to tell you that you won? Now, leave me alone.”

I pushed passed him on my way back to my mother’s room. I knew exactly where I was going. I knew where she kept them. It was only he and I at home right now thankfully. My mother and stepdad had left for the night. They were celebrating their anniversary together. I still couldn’t believe they were still married after all these years, but I guess my personal hell is my mother’s heaven.

I open the medicine cabinet and pulled out exactly what I was looking for. My mother’s life wasn’t as perfect as she made it seem. She still took anti-depressants to cope with everyday life. I guess money doesn’t fix anything.

I opened the pill bottle and dropped a handful of them down my mouth. I took a drink of water to get them all down. I slowly walked out of the bathroom where I fell on the bed. I could already start feeling dizzy. I couldn’t tell if it was from the medicine I just took or from crying buckets.

I lay on the bed for a while. My eyes started to feel heavy. I just stare at the ceiling fan watching it spin. I wonder what will happen next. When the medicine will kick in. What my mother will find. I almost don’t care anymore. She put me in this world. She put me in a world that has done nothing but chew me up and spit me out.

I start to feel numb before drifting off into a deep sleep. Everything going black.*