FIXING HER

We humans always look for a way to escape our scarring or perhaps overwhelming reality and when we do find that suitable safe place , we decide to hide there if not forever, for a long period.

For some time until a month ago, Ashley’s safe place was her dreams. After a long day at her work place, she always looked forward to jumping into her conducive king sized bed, all dressed in her comfortable night wear. It was on such days she felt grateful that her husband suggested they slept in separate rooms.

But, there came a time that her dreams became a burden. After her divorce, all she saw whenever she closed her eyes and fell deep into slumber, was pure nightmare.

Her recently modified reality crept into her dream and haunted it until it became a nightmare.

Frowning unconsciously, Ashley stirred as her sleep position was getting uncomfortable and seeing the image of her husband naked on top of her mother was getting predominant. She wanted to open her eyes and end it, but she couldn’t because her physical world was equally worse.

But she woke up anyway. Her eyes darting across the breadth of the room, she realized she had slept off on the couch while watching a comedy show. As she sat up grudgingly, her sunken eyes stared right at the screen which was showing another movie.

A deep sigh escaped her lips.

Her life was just an absolute mess. She knew she had to do something about it, like go back to work or attend therapy sessions, or go to the gym, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do anything meaningful.

Against her wish, her husband… ex-husband escapade with her own mother affected her than she needed it to. The same weight that dropped over her heart when she caught them on her bed was still there, one month after the incident.

And she hated the feeling!

‘If only I had a close friend,’ she thought as she got up to get herself a bottle of water from the kitchen. A friend or friends in such trying times would have been the best to have around, especially if you consider the fact that she lived in a huge house all alone.

Ashley was grateful though, that Kevin did not get her out of the house. But then, with the extreme loneliness she was experiencing, she could as well just sell the house and check herself into an old person home.

Sighing even deeper as she caught her image on the steel covering of the refrigerator, Ashley had to just admit to herself that enough was enough. It was time to get herself together. And she was really going to do it.

She might have consciously and unconsciously told herself numerous times that it was high time she got herself together, this time would be different, she would really do it.

‘I am going to do it.’

“You don’t look so good.” Ashley froze on hearing that voice. What on earth was he doing in the house? Why on earth did he have to come when she looked like trash? If Kevin was going to see her at all after their divorce, she would at least like to look like she was on top of her world.

Knowing that it would be stupid to walk away without confronting the bastard ex-husband, she slowly turned, her hand running through her silk-like hair which felt more like sand at that moment, to straighten it. “Kevin.”

As she acknowledged his presence with a sneer on her face, she took the time to study him. He looked okay, even better than he looked when he was with her. But then, Ashley could not help but wonder what she saw in him that made her fall in love with him.

‘He is not even that good looking,’ she thought as she raked her eyes that were filled with hatred, through the regular looking Joe of a man. He was a bit cute though, especially when he smiled. Other than that, there was nothing good to look at.

Maybe it was his character she fell for, she had no idea. She remembered nothing. All she remembered was how he cheated on her.

So much for character.

“You look like crap Ashley.”

“I can look like whatever I want to look like Kevin. What are you doing here?”

The side of his eyes smiled, causing her disgust to stir even faster. “I came to get some things.”

“Hmm. How is your wife?”

“Girlfriend,” he corrected, Ashley felt like slapping him. “We are getting married soon though.”

“Have fun getting married to my mother then,” she spat, her arms crossing to contain her anger, if they could.

“I don’t get why you are being so dramatic.” His hands went into the pockets of his pants. “I didn’t murder anyone or something.”

Gasping, her teeth gnashing, she replied, “You fucking slept with my mother, you prick!”

Kevin scoffed. “You think that was the first time? You think you caught us in your bed because you just did? Get a life Ashley.”

“Get a life? You ruined mine by cheating on me! With my mother! How about you have some decency you absolutely fucked up dick!”

“You are just causing a scene.” The manner with which he calmly spoke annoyed her, it was taking every muscle in her to not charge at the bastard.

“I loved you Kevin. I sacrificed a lot for you, yet what did I get in return? A cheating bastard.”

“Don’t you get it? I grew tired of you and your sorry self. I got tired of your presence and I found a woman who I really want. What is the big deal?”

“Oh my God, oh my God.” Ashley just couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t just believe it. And she could not take it anymore. “Just leave. Leave my house. What on earth are you even holding a wrench for? Are you planning on destroying the house?”

“I already told you I came to get some things.”

“Yeah, with a wrench. And, I am Beyoncee’s sister.” Ashley rushed towards him and pushed him angrily. “Leave my house you cheating bastard! Leave!”

Kevin gave a light chuckle, “You shouldn’t stress yourself so much Ash, it doesn’t fit you. But then, seeing you like this is amusing.”

“Leave!” She glared at him, her finger pointing out a direction for him. After he left, Ashley lost it. The anger that had built inside her busted and she just totally lost it.

“Fuck!” She screamed into the room loudly, her hands clutching the sides of her head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck you! Fuck you Kevin!”

She went on to grab the nearest item and she smashed it hard on the ground. “I hope you fucking enjoy screwing my mother, you stupid dick! Fuck you!” A distant bark replied. She knew she was being loud, but at that moment, what her neighbours thought was not her issue.

Grabbing another item to smash, Ashley couldn’t just help but let some tears drop. As they came, she forgot her anger and sadness set in causing her to slowly drop onto the cold tiled kitchen floor in nothing but a robe.

“Fuck you Kevin,” she whispered as the object she had earlier gripped slid out of her grasp.