I Gave Him a Future Without Me

I've always been a little slower than everyone else.

Ethan Walker used to promise he'd wait for me. We'd been best friends since we were four.

Then Madison Reed came along, and he stopped keeping that promise.

At dinner, they'd leave before I finished eating. At the beach, they disappeared while I was still struggling to swim back to shore.

I kept making excuses for him.

Until the night I arrived late to a party and heard one of his friends ask, "Where's Alice? Thought she was coming with you."

Ethan let out an annoyed sigh.

"She's probably still getting ready. You know how slow she is."

"Why didn't you wait?"

"Because it's exhausting. Everything takes twice as long with her around. I'm not spending my whole life waiting for her."

I stood outside the door, unable to move.

I'd spent years trying to catch up to him.

I never realized he'd been counting the minutes until he could leave me behind.

Ethan and Madison had been planning to attend UCLA together for months. They'd already made it clear that they expected me to go with them, too.

He assumed I'd follow, just like always.

But I quietly accepted my offer from the University of Washington instead.

Ethan was right about one thing.

He shouldn't have to spend his life waiting for me.

So this time, I chose Seattle.

And I gave him a future without me.

...

I confirmed my enrollment at the University of Washington with forty-three seconds to spare.

Seattle.

Nearly twelve hundred miles from Ethan Walker.

My chest tightened as the confirmation appeared on my laptop.

I'd spent twelve years believing we'd always be together. Now, for the first time, I was going somewhere he wouldn't be.

My phone rang.

Ethan.

"Alice, are you ready yet? Prom starts at seven."

I glanced at the clock.

It wasn't even six.

"You said you'd pick me up at six-thirty."

"Yeah, well, Madison's coming with us. She doesn't have a date, and I don't want her showing up alone. Can you hurry?"

"I just need a few more minutes."

He sighed. "Of course you do. Just try not to take forever, okay?"

The call ended.

I hurried to finish getting ready.

My pale blue dress hung a little loose around my waist. I'd spent weeks saving up for it, imagining Ethan's face when he saw me.

But the dress wasn't what I'd worked hardest on.

For the past month, I'd been practicing dancing.

Every afternoon, I stayed behind in the school gym, following online tutorials until my feet ached.

Ethan loved dancing. He was naturally good at it, just like he was at everything else.

I wasn't.

But tonight, I wanted to dance with him without making him slow down.

At 6:12, I stepped outside.

His car was gone.

My phone buzzed with a text.

Ethan: Madison was getting anxious about being late. We went ahead. Just get an Uber.

I stared at the message. He'd left eighteen minutes before the time he'd promised to pick me up.

I hadn't even been late.

By the time I reached the hotel ballroom, the music was already playing.

I found Ethan near the dance floor.

Madison stood beside him in a silver dress, her hand tucked into his arm.

"Ethan?"

He turned. "Oh, hey. You made it."

My fingers tightened around my clutch.

"You said we'd dance together tonight."

Before he could answer, Madison touched his shoulder.

"Actually, Alice, I asked Ethan to be my date. I didn't have anyone else to go with."

Ethan shrugged.

"Come on, Alice. You don't even like dancing."

"I never said that."

"Well, you can barely keep up when we're walking. Dancing's not exactly your thing."

Madison laughed softly. "I promise I'll give him back after a song."

But one song became three. Then five.

I sat at a table near the wall, watching Ethan spin Madison beneath the lights. She moved effortlessly in his arms.

I looked down at my shoes. The same shoes I'd worn every afternoon while practicing.

I'd learned the steps. Every turn, every count.

I'd even practiced smiling so he wouldn't notice how hard I was concentrating.

All because I'd wanted one dance with him.

Ethan never came to ask.

By the time the last slow song ended, my feet were still perfectly comfortable. I'd barely moved all night.

Afterward, a group of us gathered around a table in the hotel lounge.

Madison dropped into the seat beside Ethan, breathless and laughing.

"Best prom ever."

Ethan grinned at her. "You're welcome."

I took the chair on his other side.

Ryan, our class president, glanced between us.

"Man, you three have been attached at the hip since freshman year. You're seriously gonna keep that going in college?"

I straightened.

This was my chance.

I could finally tell them I wasn't going to UCLA.

That I'd chosen Washington instead.

But before I could speak, Ethan threw an arm around Madison's shoulders and draped the other across mine.

"Obviously."

A few of our friends laughed.

Ethan gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"Come on, you think Alice could survive college without us?"

"She's slow at everything, gets lost in places she's been a hundred times, and lets people walk all over her."

"Ethan," I murmured.

"What?" He glanced at me. "You know it's true."

Then his voice softened.

"Besides, who's gonna look out for her if we're not there? People aren't always nice, Alice. You need someone in your corner."

His arm was warm against my shoulders.

So familiar it almost hurt.

I thought of the little boy who used to hold my hand and promise he'd never leave me behind.

Maybe he still cared.

Maybe, underneath all the impatience, he still remembered that I needed him.

And just like that, the hope I'd spent all evening trying to bury flickered back to life.