Selena's rebirth diary

While her father was sweating profusely and went out to drink water, Selena quietly opened the old basket on the ground. There were three layers of partitions, each containing various small items. The upper layer was filled with handmade headbands and some cheap handmade hair ornaments, hairpins and silk flowers, below is an embroidered handkerchief and perfumed sachets made by her mother Maria.

She looked through the basket and found that not a single handkerchief had been sold, but four or five fans had been sold. Now that summer is getting hotter day by day, some women in ordinary families need fan to match their clothes or to enjoy the cool air, what is popular in the metropolis this year is this kind of flowers pattern. Although the things are beautiful, the cost is also high. In order not to overstock the goods, the salesmen can only sell them at low prices, fifteen copper coins a handle. It's only has a profit of two copper coins.

Selena looked at another basket and found that only some oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar were sold, but these were unprofitable items. There were few poor families who were willing to buy more. Every copper coin had to be calculated carefully. She covered the lid of the basket and entered the room. Her mother, Maria, was sitting on the bed, mending clothes. She was not in good health to begin with. She had just caught a cold a few days ago. She has gotten better these days, but her face is still sallow.

When Maria saw her daughter coming in, she stopped and said: "Your dad always has a good temper, but this time he has been angry with you for several days. Although he ignores you, don't blame him in your heart. To be honest, you did something wrong this time..."

Maybe she was a little excited, so after saying this, Maria coughed several times, took the daisy tea made by Selena and took sips before she felt relieved and her face looked better.

Then she glared at Selena and said "Lucio' comes from a cultured family, and Lucio is good-looking and talented. If your father hadn't saved Lucio's father's life by chance, you would never have had the chance to become his fiancée. "

"Now that Lucio's parents are dead, he hopes to get our help. Even if his face is injured and has no money, even if you really don't want to marry him, for the sake of his dead father, you can't insult him. His father has helped our family a lot in the past, but now we don't lend a helping hand. How could you be so mean and drive people away... Tell me, why were you so indifferent and cold  that day?"

Seeing that her mother's eyes were red, Selena immediately sat on the side of the bed, fell into her mother's lap, and began to cry. Seeing her daughter crying so sadly and her shoulders shaking, Maria couldn't say any more words of guilt that she wanted to continue saying. She is always in poor health. She only has one daughter. Even though she comes from an ordinary family, she still has Selena in her heart and adores her in every way possible. Thinking about what happened at home during this period, I soon shed tears together with Selena, the mother and daughter suddenly burst into tears.

Originally, Selena just lay on her mother's lap and pretended to cry in order to avoid being scolded. For a moment, she smelled the familiar smell on her mother's body, and then thought of the suffering after her mother passed away in her previous life, and she couldn't help but feel sad, burst into tears uncontrollably, and it only took a moment for Maria's clothes to get wet.

Outside the door, Jose, who originally wanted to enter the room, stood at the door for a while. The expression on his face finally softened a little. He sighed, turned around, took the tools, and went to the back mountain to collect firewood.

As soon as the sun set, Selena had already boiled water and took a shower, then changed into clean pajamas. She sat alone on a stool in her room, looking at an old and uneven mirror on a broken wooden table, slowly Slowly combing her waist-length wet hair, she looked at the young, sallow and skinny eleven-year-old girl in the mirror, with a strange look in her eyes.

Selena smiled, she was no longer the original Selena who only had the memory of eleven years old. In her previous life, she was the lover of an earl. After she enjoyed some wealth and gained some knowledge, she felt that her name was so tacky that she wished she could change it. She never thought that one day she would hear someone call her Selena again, and she would feel warm. It made her want to cry. While thinking about it, she used the wooden comb with several broken teeth to carefully comb the knotted areas of her hair, and then she sat at the window like a statue, quietly. Wait for your hair to dry naturally in the wind.

Yesterday, she accidentally returned to 12 years old from 30 years old. Looking at the face in the mirror that looked malnourished and thin, instead of the face that made her despair, disheveled and looked like an old woman, suddenly she had the desire again, the desire to live, this desire became more intense after confirming that this was not a dream.

After a while, the childish little face in the bronze mirror suddenly laughed, smiling so happily and wantonly. She stretched out her hand and touched her face and her slightly yellow hair. This was just because of insufficient nutrition. Wheng she grow up, she will look like a different person. 

Otherwise, in her previous life,  she would not have been favored by the earl and taken into the palace as his lover. She would not have stood out among the earl's many lovers and enjoyed the earl's favor for five years. After a long period of time, she was injured due to several miscarriages. She was unable to have any more children and fell out of favor. Even so, the countess still held a grudge against him. Finally, she was expelled from the count's palace and secretly sold to a balm seller.

If she dies, when the earl remembers it again, the previous memories will be all wonderful. But if she runs away with another man, then these beautiful memories will become disgusting things. The countess's move was undoubtedly vicious, and it also completely eliminated Selena's chance of escaping back to the Earl's Mansion and seeking protection from the Earl.

Thinking of the few years of life after leaving the Earl in her previous life, Selena stoped smile and paused the comb. Selena in her previous life was an extremely vain woman, otherwise she wouldn't insist on being a lover. 

She only lives for the external flashy glory, so she has all the habits of a vain and vulgar woman. She loves money, beauty, and luxury, but so what, she just loves those expensive brocade silk and lace clothes, loves that makeup box filled with all kinds of enviable precious jewelry, and is willing to eat There are all kinds of exotic cakes to satisfy her appetite.

She would rather die than live the hard life of eating black bread, even never having a good meal, and she didn't want to work like an ox or a horse every day, and be beaten and scolded by men when she didn't get what she wanted. For these reasons, she is willing to give up the truth love between men and women that ladies expect, and she never asks for a lasting, wholehearted relationship with a man. She is satisfied as long as she can live a prosperous life. Was she wrong?

Selena looked at the blurry figure in the mirror for a long time, then reached out and clasped the mirror on the table. At this time, the moon was in the west, and her hair had been blown dry by the gentle evening breeze. She walked towards the hard wood bed, her steps were light but firm, and she finally understood that her idea had been wrong all along. The mistake was that she should not beg and rely on others' charity. Such a life would not last long, so in this life she wanted to rely on herself and her own efforts to live the prosperous life she wants.

Suddenly, Selena thought of Lucio, and Selena paused her step. Lucio was just a shadow in her vague memory. The reason why she remembered it was because of Lucio's angry eyes when he turned around and left after being insulted by her words. His eyes were really dark and scary. A few years later, she seemed to have seen him again in the Earl's Mansion, but by then he was already in a high position, and even the Earl treated him with courtesy. When Lucio looked at her at that time, there was only indifference in his eyes, and now that she think about it, Selena still feel a little scared.

Now that she is reborn, it is a pity that she has already insulted him. What has happened has already happened, and it is irreversible again. However, when I think about it, the two of them only met a few times in the last life, so there is no need to take this matter to heart. If she meets him in the future, she will avoid him. Thinking that many years had passed, Lucio should have forgotten her. Selena felt relieved immediately, and then she lay down on the simple wooden bed and slowly fell asleep.