The Captain doesn't Date

SOFIA'S POV

"Sofia I know you're in there!" My house mate and bestfriend Mila shouts, banging the door. If it was your first time here you'd think I was doing it on purpose but the off campus house has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and she likes this one because it has "better lighting". I open the door once I'm done earning a flick on my forehead. "La Lupa!" She curses making me giggle. After all I did move universities at the end of the second semester of my sophomore year, becuase I needed it. Atleast that's what Matteo, my stepdad said. "Did you hear about a student moving into the third room? Miss Trenoli said it in passing," I say waiting by the door like I always did with my sisters back home. Rome and Milan weren't far apart but when i remembered why i loved living back home my heart breaks a little.

I always thought I'd be the one to guide my twin sisters through life but I never was prepared for the last call to be the last. Mom always said I took up after her and they took up after my step-dad.

"No, but she better be less like the last one. Her moaning still haunts my existence,"

"And yours, MINEEE!"

"Speaking of moaning, when are you going to take that ice cold heart of yours out of its freezer?"she asks and I think that's the last thing on my mind right now. How could I ever explain my life to anyone without them walking away or taking advantage of the situation? Sex is the last thing on my mind if it doesn't come with mutual interest and layers of patient and intent. "When the person gets on my nerves," I say simply. It might sound easy but i just don't care enough to react to people's actions. Hers maybe, but never to that extent. Mila was the first person I told about my family and she was right there with me when it all unfolded. She had the idea to move to Castellani University of Milan because she could keep an eye on me if I was around her. It was a drastic change from my normalcy to a world of high profile students.

I fix my slick bun because I had to gel it in layers for it to be this flat. I major in film and her, mostly business. It's a five minute walk to the campus and a quick breakfast by my favorite café wouldn't hurt. My camera hangs over my neck, with me casually pulling it up whenever I see something interesting to shoot. My bestfriend usually skips that to find her boyfriend for an early makeout session I assume. Wouldn't be the first.

"Bornjiono, un caffè insieme alla torta tiramisù per favore," I say ordering my usual. My latest project for the term is capturing a subject and tell their story without them having to speak. I tried with the café staff but they seem to have the same routine, almost same mannerism and all that fits in one frame. Initially I thought it'd be the easiest until I realised how similar humans are in a work setting. Maybe I should try capturing people in their passionate elements. I jolt down on my notebook a few places to hit on campus and maybe off campus because I have 3 weeks to make that short film and edit it. I feel eyes on me but when I look up the cafe is still freshly opened with a few tables filled. I pay with my card and leave a few notes for the tip.

I wasn't good with math since childhood and calculating money openly looks like contemplating on how much to tip. The lecture hall is already full and the only free sits are in the middle so I reluctantly find one and take out my iPad along with my notebook. "Welcome to our second lesson. I will be picking at random to talk about the progress made in your project. After all it is 80% your final grade for the semester," Mr Lorenzo chimes in placing his belongings on the desk. Murmurs fill the hall and all I can do is roll my eyes because film is the most interesting part about life, and no one should ever feel the need to lie about it. He calls people at random like he warned earlier and most of them seem to be repeating what the previous one had said.

"Miss Castiello, we have talked about you filling in for your friend. Let it be your last time in my class,"he says with all eyes focusing their attention to said person behind me. I've heard about that name in passing but all I know is she's the basketball captain and someone you don't want to cross paths with, unless your reputation is up for free take. I turn wanting so bad to put a face to her because I never attended any basketball games or practices. Simply reserved for cheerleaders and players' respective partners etc. I think if people found out about the best places with happy hour on fridays then I'd be doomed. She's already grabbing her bag with the school's basketball versity jacket making her easily stand out.

When she turns her eyes immediately lock with mine like it's the first thing she wanted to do. Her hair falls past her shoulders and layered but you can tell she swoops it alot from the misplaced middle parting. Her hazel eyes growing a shade darker but I can't be sure because she breaks the eye contact walking down the stairs but not before "accidentally" pushing my notebook to the floor. A smirk forms on the corner of her lips as she gets down on one knee to pick it up.

How cringe does she think this little act is? I think to myself as she places it right back where it was. And just like that she walks out the lecture hall. Is that the supposed hot captain? Because if looks are deceiving then try analysing how they act in public. I got second hand embarrassment from that. When i retell the whole encounter to my bestfriend she has an even better reaction, trying her hardest to hold on to her ribs.

"She's just teasing you, Sof Pow," she says finally.

"How's that teasing really? Just use your words," I say simply.

Maybe I just don't get it. I haven't dated since high-school and that was in junior year and the person moved miles away. I couldn't do the long distance thing and she called me nonchalant and shallow. Umm maybe i like being clingy and able to run into my girlfriend's arms when life is falling apart! Not wait for good signal to feel close to you. "Hey slut and runaway nun," Paolo, our close friend sasses once he's in clear view. He's known my bestfriend since freshman year and me since I moved here. "Paulo, if you're gonna call me a nun then spell it right?" I retort because he's spelt it with an o and e at the end a couple of times. He's what you'd call an out and proud gay necessity in one's life. Mine to be exact because he's always setting me up with girls he feels would "suit me".

"Happy birthday Paolo!!!!" We say at the same time Mila takes out a birthday party hat for him. We've been planning his party at his parent's house because the dorm housing has rules. His mother played a part because she calls him her own expressive version. "Shut it Les Lupas! Or some people might actually start talking to me," he says and I can't help but laugh as we head to the parking lot. His jeep is alot like mine but green. I think red is sexy though. "Pregame at Happy Hour's?" I ask surprising them both. I barely suggest drinking together but may I need to. They've never let me do anything stupid when i was drunk and i called them to get me. I never feel alone because I have them. "I can't, my boyfriend wants me to join him at his family dinner," she says and I can't tell if she's covering up for the surprise party or she genuinely does have somewhere else to be. We didn't cover that part during planning. It's in 2 hours and we have to stall until then.

"Okay so then its just sofia and me,"

"only for a few hours. I'll meet you guys after,"she reassures him but i can feel his excitement die down because he loves celebrating his birthdays. We switch places after dropping Mila off at the house to freshen up and head to the Happy Hour joint, with me as the designated driver.

"How do you feel about being 22?"

"Like the guy I want and love is someone i need to let go of,"

"Paolo, I'm so sorry. You've always been so openly caring and protective, and he's just a coward who takes college social life seriously its sad. You deserve someone who holds your hand down the aisle with everyone watching and is eager to be with you,"I say and he just leans back in his seat as we pull up to the place. He wipes a few stray tears before realising a breath he must have been holding.

"How are you single when you know what you want?"

"It's stupid, but my mom met my stepdad I was little. When I was old enough she always said that she didn't date after my biological father until she met him and she'd always say when you know, you know. I just don't feel like collecting bodies,"I say and I think it's the first time I've talked about her this openly without crying about it. "It's not stupid. Its admirable," he corrects before I wrap my arms around him. I thought about it sometimes, love. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to feel it. Because what if I get hurt again? I barely made it the first time I felt like life had taken everything from me and it was never going to give it back. I get us a table knowing I'll have a cocktail and have the bartender water down the rest because I'm driving us.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I fished it out with a familiar caller ID.

"Hello sofia,"

"Matteo, hey! How are you?" I ask knowing he'll say the usual. It wasn't easy for him. Atleast thats what I told myself to ignore my own pain. "You know me, just an old man with few hobbies," he says and I can't help but let out a light chuckle.

"How's Milan? Are you liking it?"

"Yes, so much,"I say almost immediately it barely sounded convincing. You'd think a parent you have no shared DNA with would drop you off at your relatives and go on about their life but not Matteo. Mom always said that before her he'd had a hard time with love and always wanted a family. Then she went on that date and had to pick me up shortly after and he was kind enough to give her a ride.

"Its the twins birthday soon, i jus-"

"I'll be there,"I interrupt him. I hated when he asked for the bare minimum from me, because I knew that he'd spent alot of time overthinking about it. That I didn't have to do it. But he's every bit my father too and because of him I never gave up. "Okay, I'll let you get back to your friends,"he says before the call ends. I stay outside for a short while before going back in. I find Paolo flirting with a guy he probably doesn't know so I conclude it's time to leave. He helps me pick out an outfit despite me having a red dress in mind for tonight. "I need to go home and change before we head to the club too," he says and that was already part of the plan.

He's had a bottle of water courtesy of me because he needs to be present for his surprise. The house looks unsuspecting from a distance making me question where people parked their cars if they came with them at all. He gets out fully pumped and stops me in my tracks. "You are definitely getting fucked tonight in that dress,"he says and I just rolls my eyes. It's the shortest dress i have and a surprise from my mom. She always encouraged me to live out of my shell because she never got to. He opens the door to a loud welcome. "Happy birthday birthday boy!!!!!!" I shout as he recovers from the unsuspecting surprise. "You two are so sneaky, I love it!!" He says as Mila comes into view. From the way she's dressed, she definitely came straight from the dinner. "Now let's partayyy!" Mila yells and all I can think about is if I'll ever be as happy about my own birthday again.