The Queen of Rogues

CHAPTER 1

HAVEN'S POINT OF VIEW

When I was young, I have always wondered how does it feels like to have a mate. Seeing werewolves around me, happily talking and looking so in love with their mates is something that I also wanted to feel.

Eversince then, I was alone. Let's just say, I am an orphan. My parents were nowhere to be found. I was inside a basket, so fragile, alone, and almost freezing to death when the Alpha of Farrington Pack, Jacob, found me inside their border. He took pity with ny state. I was too young to be left alone inside the cold forrest, and so, he decided to bring me to their pack. They offered me a shelter and I became a member of their pack in exchange of me, being one of their helpers.

Despite of having a shelter to live in, there's still something that's missing. The missing puzzle to complete me.

Love and care. That's what I need. I know that those are the things that I have been wanting eversince I've witnessed how some pack members became more happy everytime they find their mates. I want to have the same joy and satisfaction that they have on their faces. I want to be completely...happy too.

It was something that I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel the love and care that I wasn't able to experience eversince. And I know that I am going to feel that once I'll be able to find my mate.

Ecstatic, happiness and satisfaction. I immediately felt the pull when I saw Alpha Jacob's son, his heir, Tristan Farrington. I was eighteen when I found out he was my mate and when we stared at each other's eyes, I know that I wasn't the only one who's feeling the same pull towards each other that I was feeling.

But I didn't expect the force of pull to be this painful.

Tears started to stream down my face as I stare at the two figure in front of me. They didn't stop kissing each other passionately even though I am already standing in front of them.

No. I will be fooling myself if I'll say they're just kissing. Coz' no, they aren't just kissing passionately but they are having...sex.

I was deep rooted in my place as I continue to watch them. My heart hurts so much. It feels like someone was hammering it over and over again, stepping the now broken pieces of my heart. Even so, I still can't stop myself from watching them.

I know how much I became a martyr since I met Tristan. I suffered but I endured it all because we are mates! We were meant to be together! We are meant for each other! But he...doesn't want me as much as I want him. And that breaks me more.

'No! He's cheating! Mate is cheating!'

My wolf, Heaven, growled inside my head with so much pain in her voice.

'Stop him! Stop him!'

My wolf continued to shout inside my head but I choose to ignore it. Stop him? Nah. I've been trying to do that for almost a year now. But it looks like hurting me is one of his favorite hobbies now.

I know. I know from the first time that he didn't want me as his mate. He can feel the pull, alright. We both can feel it but he keeps on rejecting and denying it. Tristan told me that he didn't want an orphan mate. He didn't want someone who's as weak and as low as I am. He's going to be an Alpha and he doesn't want to be humiliated by the pack members for choosing such a weak Luna. He wants someone who's strong. Someone who's equal to him.

And that's simply not going to be me.

He's not rejecting me yet and he doesn't want me to reject him either. He wants to have the pleasure of hurting me more and I know that he wanted to do it in front of all the pack members.

"Well, well, well. Here's the pathetic and useless helper of yours, Tristan. Oh dear, why are you crying, huh? Does it hurt to see Tristan kissing me instead of you? Does it hurt seeing Tristan having sex with me instead of you?" Marina's voice started to irritate my ears but I stayed expressionless despite of how hurt I am right now. I want to stop crying but my tears were betraying me too. I hate it. I hate everything that's happening. I can let everything pass for I love Tristan but this is too much. Too much for me to take.

I saw Tristan crossed his arms and stood still, watching Marina approach me and it hurts me even more. They were still both naked and unbothered that I am here. They did not even try to get dressed, huh?

He really doesn't care if someone will hurt me in any way. Why am I even surprised, huh? He's been doing that for almost a year already. He always stay still everytime that some of the pack members, particulary his friends and Marina's friends will make fun of me. He just simply doesn't care. I am weak and unwanted.

"You're really pathetic." Marina taunted. I badly wanna wash away the smirk on her face. Someday. Someday, I hope I can do the pleasure to do so.

"You're pathetic and stupid that you even came here after Tristan invited you inside his room. What? Do you really think that he'll accept you as his Luna now? No, girlie. I'll be his Luna, tomorrow at the ceremony. And everyone will witness your pathetic ass being rejected by the future Alpha Tristan." She added before holding both of my shoulders. I winced in pain when she buried her manicured long nails on it.

I bit my lower lip as I stopped myself from sobbing so hard. This is too much. They are too much. I don't even know why they have to make me suffer like this. I didn't even do anything wrong to any of them. I know I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I certainly don't.

"Why...why are you all doing this to me?" I managed to ask despite of the pain I was feeling. I am physically and emotionally in pain right now. And I know that no one else can help me but myself.

I slowly looked at Tristan. He was staring blankly at me like he really doesn't care if Marina's going to kill me in front of him.

'Mate is so cruel! He is so cruel!'

Heaven shouted inside my head and I immediately shut her off. I don't want to hurt her even more. Heaven, my wolf, shouldn't be weakened too much.

Marina laughed sarcastically. She finally let go of my shoulders. I sighed, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

Marina shook her head. She is tall. Her hair is blonde. Her breast is bigger than any of the women here in the pack. She's hot and sexy. Something that I can't be. Overall, she's beautiful. Probably the reason why Tristan doesn't want me as his Luna. He wanted someone that he can be proud of. Someone he can proudly show off to everyone and Marina is his perfect match for that.

"You are simply a dirt here. The reason why we wanted to get rid of you." Marina chuckled as she raised her brows at me. Her smile doesn't faulter as she continue to watch my probably pathetic form.

I feel so...small.

All that I ever wanted was a mate. A mate who will love and care for me for who I am. I want to feel the tingles and butterflies inside the stomach as my mate touches me. Not this. I wasn't expecting this kind of pain!

Moon Goddess. What have you've done to me?!

"You should've get rid of me sooner! Why make me suffer?!" I shouted. I stared at the two figure in front of me who's now turning into a blur as my tears clouded my eyes again. Frustrated and angry. That's what I want to show to them and I know that they're quite shock to hear me shouting. Who wouldn't anyway? I was always gentle, demure, and timid. But right now? I don't think I can still be that same person that I am after all the pain and sufferrings that I am through right now.

From shock, Tristan's face turned into an angry look as he took quick strides towards me. I gasped when he held my neck. He's choking me and all that I can do is to cry!

He can end my life now, I don't care! I don't care anymore!

"HOW DARE YOU SHOUT AND DISRESPECT YOUR FUTURE LUNA IN FRONT OF ME, YOU PATHETIC BITCH!" He shouted with so much anger and I thought he can't do anything to me that will shock and hurt me even more. Turns out, he was just starting.

I grunted in pain when my back hit the edge of the bed. He threw me! He just threw me like I was a piece of trash! He's the worst!

Marina's laugh echoed around the room while I just cried in pain. My eyes became blurry 'till it turned into a pitch black.

I passed out, emotionally and physically exhausted of everything.