The Twin Flame

My new life starts today. The days I live will definitely feel different, with a different body and identity. The preparations to change myself completely were coming to an end. Actually, I was very afraid, feelings of guilt continued to haunt my mind and my heart.

I'm afraid that what I'm doing now will actually make him uneasy in heaven. Can I be like this? Will what I do be what I want?

Question after question appeared in my head. There is a little doubt and anxiety that makes you unsure that everything will be fine. A freak like me, can I act normally like him?

But I've gone too far. I can no longer escape the trap that I have created for myself with these hands. I can't back down. Like it or not, everything has happened, I have to keep going.

“Bryan, I'm so sorry!”

I stood in front of a large mirror that allowed me to see my new form from head to toe. I was amazed and speechless, I saw Bryan before my eyes. His face, his eyes, and the last clothes he wore. The police uniform he was so proud of, he had before my eyes.

"What do you think?" Said Doctor Janice who was standing next to me.

"Is it really me?" I asked in disbelief. I very rarely lift my head like this. But because I realized that now I am not myself anymore since I decided to change everything.

“It's you Anka, but now more specifically, Bryan McGonnal, isn't that right?” She said with a smile.

“Yeah, it's really great. I didn't expect it to be this similar to him. I felt like he was standing in front of me, but unfortunately I couldn't reach him.”

“You've already gone this far, I want to ask one more time. Are you sure you'll come home with your new look?”

"I'm confused."

"Why?"

“It felt like I was lying to myself by pretending to be him.”

“Why are you only realizing it now?”

“I don't know, it's hard to say. My feelings were at war with my mind, as if I didn't want any of this."

"You just don't believe in yourself enough, Anka!"

"I thought, maybe from the outside I could trick their eyes with my physical changes, but could their deepest hearts accept the fact that I had deceived them?"

"What do you mean?"

“I can't act like Bryan. He is strong, he is smart and can always be relied on. Just thinking about it, it's impossible for me to replace him. I feel so stupid and selfish. Should I just step back and not have to go back to that house?"

"You stupid!" Doctor Janice said, feeling annoyed.

"Doctor?"

“Do you think retreating would be better for you? If you don't try it, how will you know? Seeing your sincerity at that time made me annoyed, but at the same time made me feel like I really wanted to help you. Why give up now? There is no one else who will help you in trouble! There is no one left to hold your hand when you fall. So now who can you rely on?" Doctor Janice cried saying that. I saw that he was so sincere with everything she said to me.

“B-but I-"

"You have Asperger's Syndrome, I know that! It's a little surprising to see you acting like ordinary people. But I know that because you're trying hard. Anka, you're already wearing battle clothes, holding a steel shield and a spear. You've got it all use it. You can't back down now. Even though you're afraid, you have to face them head-on. Don't hide behind other people's backs, at least you're proud to die as a fighter. face them, don't run!" Doctor Janice was crying and her hands were holding my face.

“Should I kill them?”

“If you turn into your brother for revenge, don't you feel sorry for him?”

"Feel sorry? Why?"

“Anka, listen to me. If you turn into Bryan for revenge, of course everyone will think that Bryan is the one taking revenge, not you. Because if this disguise really works, of course they will assume Bryanka McGonnal is dead. You once told me that your brother never held a grudge against anyone even though he was suffering. So, if you do that, of course you will dirty his memory, do you want everyone to think Bryan is nothing more than a vengeful man?”

“I understand, but I just want to make them aware of their mistakes all this time!”

“Okay, do what you think is best. Because only you know which path to choose."

"Thank you, Doctor!" I hugged this woman with a feeling of emptiness that was difficult for me to understand, this was my first tear as Bryan. From this moment on, Bryanka is dead, she is buried in hatred that will continue to consume her forever.

"Trust me! Whatever happens, don't lose yourself!"