Watching My Childhood Sweetheart Destroy Himself

The boy I grew up with was this town's star quarterback.

Everyone saw him as the golden boy.

Yet, for a delinquent, he willingly threw away his athletic career and plunged headfirst into the local drug ring.

Desperate to pull him back from the edge, I tipped off the police about the drug den, hoping it would be his wake-up call.

Instead, he hated me to the bone for it.

To prove his loyalty to his "true love"—and to punish me—he gave our home security code to a crew of methed-up thugs.

They broke in and put a bullet through my parents' heads, wiping out my entire family.

It wasn't until I took a bullet to the chest and lay choking on my own blood, staring at a mocking text from him, that I finally woke up.

But fate, it turns out, decided to give me a second chance.

...

Lennox shoved his varsity jacket at me. The corner of a pink envelope peeked out of the pocket.

"What are you spacing out for? Take it and go find Tracy."

I gasped and jolted upright, my fingers digging white-knuckled into the edge of my desk.

There was no metallic stench of blood. No sight of my parents convulsing on the floor. My lungs weren't burning from a gunshot wound.

The only sound was the drone of the teacher's lecture.

In my past life, Lennox became obsessed with Tracy and demanded I deliver his love letter.

I had flat-out refused, begging him to think about his future.

Later, desperate to stop him from doing fentanyl with her crew, I reported the trap house to the cops.

I never expected him to hate me so deeply for it.

He didn't just flaunt his relationship with Tracy; he spread vicious rumors about me and tanked my early admission to Stanford.

I had completely broken down.

And his reaction?

He just wrapped his arm around Tracy's waist, smirking at me. "Drop the disgusting control freak act, Harper. Who do you think you are?"

Then, Lennox handed out my family's security code to her and her thugs.

That night, five methed-up junkies broke into my house.

They cleared out our cash and executed my parents.

As I took a bullet to the chest and choked on my own blood, my phone screen lit up with a text from Lennox: [Stop acting like a savior, Harper. Now you know what happens when you stick your nose where it doesn't belong.]

I tried to save a man-child, and it cost my entire family their lives.

But now, time had rewound. I was back to the very day the nightmare began.

I stared at the envelope, a visceral chill creeping up my spine.

I raised my eyes, studying the face of the boy who had gotten my family slaughtered.

If he was so hell-bent on destroying himself...

"No problem," I said, taking the jacket. "I'll deliver it."

Lennox was clearly thrown by my compliance. He eyed me suspiciously. "Seriously? You're not messing with me? Usually, this is where you start lecturing."

Dear Lennox, I'm the girl who already died staring down the barrel of a gun because of you.

"If you don't believe me," I said, "go watch. See for yourself when I hand it to Tracy."

In the blind spot behind the bleachers, Tracy was sharing a cigarette with two wannabe gangbangers.

Seeing me, she rolled her eyes. "What's the matter? Did the straight-A student get lost and stumble onto our turf?"

I held out the varsity jacket.

"From Lennox. There's a love letter inside."

Tracy's heavily lined eyes lit up.

She snatched the coat and slipped it on.

"See that?" Tracy shoved the sleeve directly into the face of the guy next to her, bursting into a brazen laugh. "Told you the idiot wouldn't last three days before confessing."

"Can't believe you're actually hooking up with that overgrown baby," the thug sneered, spitting on the ground.

Tracy scoffed and flicked her cigarette away. "Duh. He's a walking ATM. With him around, next month's rent and my brother's bail are completely covered. I just have to lift a finger, and he'll do whatever I say like a good little dog."

They laughed, not caring in the slightest that I was standing right there.

Lennox thought he was living out some epic, rebellious romance. But to them, he was just a fat sheep waiting to be slaughtered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a sneaker poking out from behind the bleachers.

At this distance, Lennox definitely heard every word of being called an "idiot" and a "walking ATM."

In my past life, I would have stormed over and ripped the jacket off her. I never would have allowed him to be played and humiliated like that.

But now? My college application was the only thing that mattered.

I turned around and walked away.

I hadn't even made it far down the hall when Lennox jogged up behind me. Instead of looking humiliated for being treated like a giant joke, his face flushed with a bizarre excitement.

"Did you see that? She put my jacket on."

"Did you not hear what she just said about you?" I asked bluntly.

Lennox scoffed. "People like them just talk blunt. She's just acting tough in front of her friends. It's called being authentic."

I sneered inwardly. When someone is hell-bent on dragging themselves through the dirt, not even God can stop them.

"Then I wish you two the best," I brushed him off dismissively.

Assuming I had surrendered to the idea, Lennox dropped his real demand. "Glad you're finally getting it. But listen—don't breathe a word about me and Tracy to my dad."

He knew better than anyone that his entire privileged life rested on his father's shoulders.

If his dad found out he was messing around with a delinquent, he would strip him of everything in a heartbeat.

"No problem," I said. "I promise, I won't say a word to your parents."

Out of habit, Lennox reached out to ruffle my hair, but I tilted my head, dodging his hand entirely.

"Smart girl," he smirked. He turned and whistled a tune as he left.

Of course I wouldn't tell.

Not only would I keep my mouth shut, but I would also sit back and watch Tracy max out his credit cards and burn his golden athletic career—and his life—to ashes.