A Divorce He Regrets

RAINA

My body ached in ways I couldn't describe, and in places I couldn't name. My skin was sticky with perspiration and my muscles were trembling from hours in labor. 

The feeling of motherhood—for however briefly I'd just come into it—was so surreal, that I could hardly believe it. Despite having nine long months to prepare my mind, nothing could have truly prepared me for the actual feeling.

‘I’m a mother now,’ I thought, though my heart still hurt as I lay in the hospital bed, gazing at what could possibly be my greatest fulfillment as a woman.

My newborn twins.

My heart filled with joy and pride as I watched them—my beautiful boy and girl swaddled beside me—but the feeling was almost completely eclipsed by a gnawing sense of unease—one I had become all too acquainted with over the years.

Despite the air conditioner, the sterile room still felt… stifling.

But the coldest presence loomed over me with his broad shoulders and cruelly handsome, emotionless face.

My husband.

He just stood there, regarding me as if I were something to be discarded. Maybe I was. I mean I had just delivered our babies, our future, and he couldn't even offer a smile. No words of comfort. 

No, “I’m proud of you.”

How I yearned to hear even just that.

I held my breath, waiting for something— anything — to break the silence, but what came next was the last thing I expected. 

When he moved, it wasn't to cradle our children or to brush a tender hand against my hair. Instead, he wordlessly tossed a stack of papers onto my lap.

“Sign them.” He ordered, cold and detached. 

His words took a moment to register.

I blinked— my eyes still hazy from the exhaustion of pushing two little humans out of me. Sign what? I looked down at the papers, then back at him in confusion. “I’m sorry, what—” 

"The divorce papers," he cut in harshly, as though it should’ve been obvious.

My heart dropped — my stomach twisting painfully.

What?

“Here,” His voice was clipped as he tossed me a pen. His movements were so impatient; one would think all this was an inconvenience to him and not me—who'd just spent the last few hours in labor. 

“What–” My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the papers again in disbelief. What was going on? I had literally just given birth to his children. He couldn't be serious. 

A divorce? 

“I- I don't understand, I just gave birth-” My voice cracked.

“And you’re damn lucky those kids are even mine!” His tone oozed with venom. “I had the doctors run a DNA test the minute they were born,” My mouth fell open. “Had the results shown otherwise… believe me when I say I'd have made you and your lover’s life miserable.” 

I reeled back in shock — the feeling so acute, it was dizzying. He’d done what? My what? The accusation hit me like a physical blow. My brain scrambled to make sense of the words as I struggled to breathe— my pulse thundering in my ears.

“Alex, what…” I choked out. “What lover?” Did he think I'd cheated on him? After I’d spent, practically every second showing him how much he meant to me? “What are you talking about—”

“You're not fooling anyone, Raina.” He spat, stepping closer.  “Now, sign them.” 

Tears pricked my eyes. 

“Is this some kind of joke?” It had to be! “I don't know what–”

“Oh, spare us the theatrics, Raina! We all know what’s been going on.” Vanessa, his sister, snarled from a corner of the room, stepping forward— I hadn't even noticed her. “So do us a favor and stop…fucking…pretending!”

My mind raced. This wasn't happening. No, it really couldn't be happening. Was I in a coma and living my worst nightmare?

“I'm not—” I started, but she flung a pile of photographs at me— some landing haphazardly on the bed, some fluttering to the floor. 

Wincing, I pushed myself into a sitting position and reached for one with trembling hands. Seeing was difficult through the blur of tears. My breathing was labored, coming out rapid and shallow. “A- Alexander, listen-”

“Enough!” He barked furiously, before I’d even had a chance to see the glossy images. “Stop wasting my time and sign the damn papers, you whore!”

A whore? Me— his wife?

Where was this from? What was happening?

His words stung— like a needle lodging itself painfully in my chest.

Oh God, was he being serious then, about… ending this? Ending us?

Panic clawed at the insides of my throat as I began hyperventilating — my body shaking uncontrollably as the room began to spin. 

I clenched the sheets, gasping for air— the heart monitor beeping erratically beside me. The warning sound of the machine competed with the sharp ringing in my ears and the voice that boomed from the doorway.

"Step back!" A man in scrubs rushed to my side, and a female nurse ushered Alexander and his sister away. 

Through my tears, I searched Alexander’s face for some flicker of emotion. However little.

Compassion. Concern. Love. 

There was none. 

All I found was the coldness in his hard features.

‘Had I loved the wrong man?’ The thought shattered me.

For years, I’d ignored the signs. 

His family had hated me from the onset— believing I wasn’t good enough for him and undeserving of their prestige. 

I’d endured their insults and constant belittling. Several times, his mother had offered me money to disappear before the wedding and I'd declined — my love for him has been just that: Love. Pure and undiluted. I didn't want money.

At every juncture that they'd maligned me and I'd told Alexander, he’d just shrugged.

"That's just the way they are, Raina. They’ll come around."

But they never did. And he never defended me. 

Not when his sister called me a gold-digger during our engagement. Not when his father suggested he annul the marriage after our first year. 

I stood by him, loving him more despite his family's contempt, their bribes, and verbal abuse, making excuses all the way for his silence.

But now, he was completely gone.

Or perhaps, he’d never been mine at all.

I'd been forcing myself on him the whole time.

It was painfully clear in that moment how he’d really never loved me. Not the way I'd loved him, anyway.

‘What a fool I’ve been,’ I thought, as the darkness claimed me.

~~~~~

I woke up to the same nightmare.

The beeping of the heart monitor was slower now— more controlled. I blinked slowly, my gaze settling on Vanessa in the far corner of the room—She looked bored. And my… Alex— Alexander, standing once again at the foot of my bed. Watching. Waiting.

Vanessa, always the Viper, was the first to speak,

“Oh good, you're up,” She sneered, her eyes gleaming with malice as she pushed away from the wall.

“Now, stop delaying and sign the papers. I have places to be.” 

My eyes stung. No… it couldn't be real. It couldn't be real. I had to be dreaming.

A tear dropped from my eye and her snarling face became clearer. Why was she even here? She was sure to make matters worse.

“Alex,” I whispered, turning to him instead. “Please, can we talk alone? I… This is all a misunderstanding, I'm sure.” Desperation choked my words. “Just hear me out.”

“No.” He glanced at his watch, dismissive. “There’s no need. I know all I need to know. We’ll talk when our lawyers are involved, so you can save your lies for then.”

Oh God. What had happened? In the time between my labor and now… What had changed? My throat constricted as tears welled up in my eyes, my heart shattering into more pieces. “Please, Alex... You know me. You know I wouldn't do any of this. I’ve always loved you— only you. I’ve never been unfaithful.”

But he didn’t care. He didn’t even look at me as he spoke. “Just sign the papers. We're done.”

God. He wouldn't even give me an audience after everything?

“Alex…” I choked out, my lips trembling, begging him with my eyes to hear me out.

But he just stared hard at me, unflinching, heartless and immovable.

“Please don't make me repeat myself.” He ground out, looking as though he was restraining himself from spitting on me.

Tears blurred my vision as I picked up the pen with hands that shook so badly, I could barely scrawl my name— but I did. What choice did I have? As I finished, I looked over at my newborn twins, finding solace in the fact that I would still have them, at least.

But then in a cruel twist of fate, his mother, whom I had not seen because she'd been right beside me, behind the machines, stepped forward and gestured to my babies,

“Take him and let's leave.”

My head snapped up in alarm. What?” 

“Read the papers.” Alexander drawled coldly. “You signed away your parental rights to my son.”

My blood ran cold. “Alex, no…” I couldn’t breathe. “H–he's just a baby, you can't take him away from me! You can’t—!”

“He's my heir!” His jaw clenched. Then leaning forward, he continued lethally. “The girl... you can keep her. As a favor. I could take them both, but this way I won’t have to worry about her becoming a slut like her mother.”

I gasped, recoiling. “Alex! How can you say that about our daughter, about me!”

“Your daughter. Yours alone, from henceforth,” he said flatly. “The doctor has said she’s unhealthy, and may not survive long. I have no need for a liability. Especially one that might turn out to be anything like you.” With that, he turned his back on me— on everything we've had together— and walked out with our son in his arms.

I screamed after him, sobbing uncontrollably, too weak to even get out of bed. “Alex! Alex please! Alex, don't take him!... Please!”

But he didn’t look back.

I collapsed, clutching my baby girl to my chest as the sobs racked my body, the weight of the betrayal crushing me. 

Rejected and deserted, I was alone. 

Completely and utterly alone.