Flirting With My Billionaire Boss

Memories

"I have to go, Rowan, you have to let me go. Find someone and be happy..." Vanessa's smooth voice pleaded with him but he refused to let her go.

Her face was dissipating into nothingness. He could no longer feel her, she was drifting away yet he held on to the little that remained of her. Rowan’s face was etched in pain, tears welled up in his eyes. She was leaving him yet again. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Vanessa...” He cried.

“It already is honey. You have to be there for Tessa, she needs you more than you think you need me.” 

He was feeling her presence less and less. Yet her smooth voice resonated within him. She was leaving him again, it was like his heart was being ripped apart all over again.

“I know, but I love you, please don’t leave me, Nessa.” He couldn’t seem to hold back the tears that had begun to flow freely out of his sockets.

“I love you too, honey. But you deserve to be happy again...” He heard her say right before she vanished completely. She was gone,  leaving him all alone in a dark void.

“I always will love you. Every day and forever... “ He said in a breathless shiver, hoping she would return.

But she had completely gone and there was nothing he could do to stop her. He ached for her touch. Her scent. Her singsong laughter. He missed her way too much that the pain was almost physical. He laid there in the void, waiting for her. He couldn't live without her. It was impossible. Life was too hard without her.

"Dadda- dadda-" was what he heard next.

What was that? He wondered and then it clicked. That was his two-year-old daughter.

His groggy eyes flew open! 

It was morning and he was late for work. Thank God he owned the publishing house or he would have been thrown out a long time ago.

His tired eyes met the round ones of Tessa who had a petulant look on her face. Rowan’s heart squeezed in pain and he peeled his eyes away from his child's face.

His eyes darted to the alarm, It was ten am. How had he woken up so late? 

He got up from the bed and moved to the window. He pulled the curtains open and winced at the light that flooded in. Next, he had to take a very quick shower. He was about to move to the bathroom when Tessa's voice stopped him.

"Dada! Dada!" His toddler said clapping her hands excitedly.

Reluctantly, he turned to stare at her and he immediately regretted it. Daylight had fallen on her red curls. And the big blue eyes that stared back at him were a spitting image of her mother. His heart squeezed again at how much he missed her. Tessa reminded him way too much of her and the incident that led up to her demise. His face darkened and he frowned at her.

“Manners Tessa, where are your manners?! Your grandmother should have thought you better!“ He growled walking to his destination, the bathroom.

Why his mother had thought it was wise to let a two-year-old move around the house alone, eluded him! What if she hurt herself?

"Dada, you go?" The child questioned in her baby terms, seeing her father move away from her.

The sadness in her voice broke his heart but he would rather live with that sort of pain than look into her face again.

"Go to your nana!" He ordered not even sparing her a glance.

He got to the bathroom door and was about to open it when his mother's voice stopped him. 

"You should feel ashamed of yourself Rowan! It is her birthday today and you can't even be nice to her? What has this little child ever done to you?" She yelled moving deeper into the room.

"Come here baby," his mother said, picking up a sulking Tessa from the bed. "Let's go get you ready for your party!" She said taking the child out of the room without speaking to her son.

Rowan was ashamed of himself. He no longer wanted to go to work. He had failed Vanessa. How could he have forgotten their daughter’s birthday? Tessa's birthday meant Nessa’s death anniversary. It had been two years already and time had done little to numb the pain. He felt the pain anew, and memories came crashing down on him. A day that was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, had suddenly turned to his worst.

“Will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?” He had whispered to her with his heart beating around like some machine. He was on his knees and Vanessa had jumped in excitement. She had screamed a thousand yes, kissing him all over his face. That night,  they had made love and that was probably the day he planted Tessa in her stomach.

Vanessa had been one insatiable woman. And as he thought of her right there by the bathroom door, her scent filled his senses. He turned back to stare at the empty bed, but even today,  he could still picture her fiery red hair scrawled on his pillow that night. He saw how her pupil dilated. She had been aroused and there had been no going back. 

Rowan smiled sadly. Tessa took everything from him. That child stole the love of his life, how could he love her?

He remembered the scowl on Vanessa's face the day he told her he wasn’t ready to have babies. The smug smile on her face after she talked him into keeping the baby. He desperately wished he hadn’t listened to her. She would have been the one to wake him and not that child.

He hissed and went into the bathroom in anger. He couldn't go to the office like this. 

After his shower, he sent a message to his secretary informing her that he wouldn't be around. He would have to go to his wife's tomb. He threw on a simple dark dress shirt and matching pants for the occasion. He knew his mother would be somewhere in the house trying to make Tessa happy. He couldn't do that. At least not today.