Hate to love you

Vivian

"I remember the first time we started talking. You were the reason I got my laugh back. The reason I fell asleep with a smile on my face. The reason I had motivation to do things again. The reason why my problems didn't seem so bad. You truly have made my life better by just being in it. I love you so much, Vivian... but that's not enough to do this forever… let’s breakup, babe…” 

The words kept spiraling in my head as I struggled to walk into the restroom. I used the remaining strength in me to shut the door and then fell to the ground. 

Tears… hot tears flooded my face and I couldn’t even care less about my expensive makeup that had now soiled all over my face.

My boyfriend of seven years had just broken up with me on a date that I thought was my proposal.

A week ago, he asked me out on a date and, with the way he went on and on about it, I just knew it wasn’t going to be one of our usual dates. 

“I’m getting married!!! Nathan is finally proposing to me!!!” That was me screaming over the phone to my best friend, Ally. 

We started preparing for the date and I mean full-time planning. I went to the spa to get my skin massaged, did my facials, got my hair done, got a designer dress and then a celebrity makeup artist. 

The whole thing was so damn expensive, and I had to literally empty my bank account, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to look my best in my proposal pictures.

It was a fancy restaurant and I sat there, blushing as Nathan reached for my hand. He had a small box in his other hand and I just knew my diamond ring was sitting pretty in there.

I quickly looked across the hall and saw the content creator I had hired, already recording. Nathan wouldn’t agree to it, so I did it secretly and was going to post it later. 

“Yes, baby! Yes, yes!” I screamed even before he said a word.

“Relax, Vivian. You don’t even know what I want to say yet.” He quickly chimed in and, seeing the look on his face, I became weak immediately. There was something about his countenance that screamed something was about to go terribly wrong. And it did. 

“I love you so much, Vivian... but that's not enough to do this forever… let’s breakup, babe…” 

“Why? I thought you were going to propose? Why bring me to this fancy place just to do this? Is this a joke? Nathan, is this a prank?” I asked while he looked at me and sighed.

“You know I do love you, right? I really love you, but I don’t know, I can’t even explain it myself, and it really hurts that I have to do this. But trust me, it’s the best for us.” 

“You still haven’t given me a reason, Nathan. This is seven years of relationshipwe’re talking about here. If I did something, just tell me and I’ll apologize. I’m sorry, baby, please let’s not do this. I love you.” I pleaded desperately, but he didn’t even flinch.

“I’m sorry, Viv, but I can’t do this anymore.” 

He said those words with so much depth that I'd never seen before, and I just knew it was over.

My eyes were already getting clouded with tears and I didn’t want him to see that, so I struggled to get on my feet, grabbed my purse and went straight into the restroom.

I stayed in there and cried till my eyes got tired. I stood up then, cleaned up, retouched my makeup and then left. 

I wasn’t expecting Nathan to still be there, so I didn’t bother checking, but just as I got to the door, a lady walked past me and she seemed so familiar. 

I couldn’t place her face but as I looked back, I saw her going to our table and Nathan was still there. He stood up and quickly pulled her into a tight hug. That was when I remembered it was on his phone that I saw her. 

A few months back, I walked in on him on a video call with her. He was hiding in the bathroom and then quickly ended it once I entered. He cooked up a silly lie, and I was too in love to see it, but seeing them publicly displaying their love now, I knew he’d been cheating on me with her. 

It’s not like me to get into fights in public, so I was just going to walk away. But then, I saw him hand over to her, the same small box I saw earlier and thought was housing my proposal ring. She beamed with a smile as she opened it and quickly clasped the diamond bracelet around her wrist.

That was it for me. I turned around and hurried back to the table. Without saying a word, I landed a heavy slap on his face, grabbed my drink and then emptied it on him.

A satisfied smile lined my face as I walked out, but as soon as I got in the car, the smile turned sour, and I found myself crying again.

“Heyy…” I suddenly heard the tap on the car window. I looked up and saw the content creator.

I quickly wiped my face, forced out a smile and then rolled down the window.

“Ohh hi, thanks for today. I will send your balance later in the evening,” I said, but he let out a smile.

“You really don’t have to. I saw everything that happened. If it makes it better, I filmed the part where you slapped him. I’ve sent it to you, and I’ve deleted it from here. Please be good, you’re a beautiful woman. It’s his loss.” I watched as he walked away, and I wished his words made it better, but it didn’t. 

It was a miracle that I got home safe. I drove recklessly at top speed and, half of the time, my eyes were blurry with tears.

I called Ally immediately when I got in, but her phone was off. She’s my cousin, and we’ve been best friends since forever. We were born a few months apart, went to the same schools and even work at the same firm. 

Since there was no one to dump my sh*t on, I knew what I had to do. I staggered to the kitchen, grabbed a few drinks and then drank away my misery. 

By the time I woke up, everywhere was dark, and my phone was on full blast, ringing nonstop. I crawled over and once I saw my boss’ name, my eyes cleared immediately. She had been calling and sending texts, but I was too drunk to hear the calls.

“Where the heck did you put your phone, Vivian?! I’ve been calling you all night!” Sandy’s voice rang over the phone, and it made my head ache badly.

“I’m so sorry, I was busy working on the files and my phone was on silent. I had no idea it was ringing.” 

“You’re still working on the files?! Do you realize you have a deadline here?!” She screamed again, and I had to pull the phone from my ears before I went crazy.

“I was only going through for confirmation. I’d be sending them now if not for this call.”

“What are you still doing on the phone then?!” She let out and then hung up immediately.

I was supposed to send the files to the client before midnight, or we’d lose the contracts. 

Lucky for me, I still have five minutes on the clock, and I already prepared the file before going on the date. The plan was to send it when we get home, and I’d get lost in my man’s hands all night. 

With four minutes left, I snapped out of the thoughts and then quickly grabbed my laptop. I scanned through in a minute and then hit the send button. 

A sigh of relief washed through me as I pushed aside the laptop and then grabbed my drink. I wanted to cry some more, but no tears came, so I just kept drinking till my eyes got blurry with sleep…