His African Queen

"Get out!" He yelled at me.

I have never been more terrified in my life.

"Get the fuck out Njoki! I won't say it again"

That statement broke my heart into a million pieces and his voice was so cold, so detached. He has never called me by my second name before or sounded so cold towards me. I just froze because this was new territory for me. I had never seen him like this before so naturally I didn't know what to say or do. Perhaps he has always been cold and stoic but it was never directed to me. I was always blinded by my feelings, always watching him through a colored lens. Was this the real him? I shuddered at the thought.

" Should I call someone to come and drag your ass out of here, huh! Is that what you want" he growled at me.

"Babe, please don't do this. Let's talk about this before you do something we'll both regret" I pleaded.

" What is there to talk about Zee? Just go back to that shit hole of a third country you call home. And while you're at it, maybe take up farming like your parents because that's the best thing you can ever do with your life" he sneered.

To say I was speechless was an understatement. He has never been this hurtful towards me and the worst part was I had no idea what I had done wrong. To insult my parents like that, he had gone too far. I don't want to give up on us but he was getting on my last nerve.

"Marcus, please tell me what I did wrong, maybe we can talk about it and find a solution. I love you and I don't want us to throw away what we have because of a simple misunderstanding" I tried reasoning with him.

"Tell it to someone who cares. You look so desperate standing there, begging, it's not a good look on you. I thought you had more pride, Zee, well I guess not. Just get the fuck out!! I find your presence unsettling " he tossed the table in front of him, scattering everything on the ground.

I turned and left him, standing there looking out the window staring at the big city. Marcus has never been a violent man, at least that's what I thought. But looking at him now, I think I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. Without bothering to defend myself anymore, I rushed to our bedroom with teary eyes. This wasn't happening to me! Maybe this was a dream and I could wake up at any moment and things will be okay, but it looks so real. He said I disgusted him, oh Lord what did I do to deserve such treatment from the man I loved? Not wanting to dwell on self-pity, I took my suitcase and packed everything I came with from home. No man is allowed to disrespect me like that, not even a man I claim to be in love with.

There was no point carrying what he bought me right? I didn't want to carry anything that will remind me of that asshole. The more I played out what happened in my head the more furious I became. That fucker doesn't deserve me and I was an idiot to think he cared.

I looked around our room one last time before I dragged my small suitcase downstairs and out of our apartment. He didn't even bother to try and stop me. I guess this was it, I got the message loud and clear, I was not welcome here. The tear I was holding so tightly started running down my cheeks. I tried wiping them with the back of my hand but theirs no point.

I guess it was time to head home.