My Always, My Forever

"There is a corner of my heart that is yours. And I don't mean for now or until I've found somebody else. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over or never again, there will always be a small quiet place in my heart that belongs only to you."

~ Beau Taplin.

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I still remember the first time I laid my eyes on both of you. Unbeknownst to me, our first meeting would change my life to the point of no return. I was caught up in the whirlwind romance you both gave me. Never imagined a bittersweet story that I thought only existed in books and movies would happen to me.

Just when I thought I was never destined to be happy, both of you appeared in my life.

But who would have thought that it would lead to my greatest love and my worst heartbreak? My always and my forever? You, whom I thought would always be with me forever, and you, whom I thought would just be a friend to me. Why did I have to fall in love with you too when I was in love with him? Why did I have to fall for both of you? 

But then everything changed. Just one day, one dreadful day, was all it took to change everything. My heart broke so bad that I thought I would never find happiness again if I didn't end up with you. Why did you have to leave me all broken? Why did both of you have to lie to me? If I had known.. Maybe everything would not result in this. The tragedies, the heartaches, the feeling of abandonment, the traumas, and every mental illness that came with it.

Until now, I still cannot believe it. All I know is that I still love you, and you, and will always love the both of you, no matter what.

But if I can't be with you, I can't be with him too.. or can I?

You, my angel, were always so forgiving. You told me I should be with him, but did you ever think about the guilt I'm feeling? Would it really be alright for me to be with him? To end up with him? Am I really allowed to be happy with him?

I'm not strong enough to be with him, to be his strength. All I could be is just a burden to him. I am really selfish for wanting to be with him, am I?

You, will you let me stay by your side despite all my traumas? Despite my being so weak? Despite all the hurt and pain that I have caused you? I don't want to be a burden to you, but I can't let you go too. What kind of woman am I? If I beg you not to let me go, will you stay? Am I even allowed to beg you to stay by my side?

After all the things that we had gone through together, do I still deserve my happy ending with you? Or am I really selfish?

I don't really know. I'll just let the readers decide. So, here is the story of us.