The Lost Pack

** Paige’s POV **

The day I buried my parents, with my newborn son in my arms and my teenage sister clinging to my side, I made myself a promise: survive, no matter what it takes.

 “I’m sorry, Paige, but there’s nothing I can do. Jaxon has caused another child to require hospital treatment. Following school policy, we have no other choice than to exclude him permanently,” Mrs Bailey, my son’s head teacher, says.

“It was clearly an accident. He would never purposely hurt someone, especially not his best friend,” I defend, unable to believe they can exclude such a young child.

“I’m sure he didn’t intend to hurt him so severely, but the fact remains that he did. I have to consider the welfare of our other students. Which means we can’t accommodate him in this school any longer. I am going to write a recommendation for him to be considered for a place in a school more suited to deal with his behaviour,” Mrs Bailey explains with a sympathetic smile.

“So you are just giving up on him?” I ask, a pit of dread and anger growing in my stomach.

“Not at all, we just think…”

“Forget it, and you can shove your recommendation. We don’t need anything from you,” I snap as I stand and storm out of the head teacher’s office.

My son waits outside for me, his little face lighting up when he sees me.

“Come on, Jax, let’s go home.” I smile at him, not letting him see how furious I am right now, as I hold out my hand to him.

Jaxon slips his small hand into mine, turning to wave goodbye innocently at his headteacher as we head out to my car.

“I’m sorry, Mummy,” Jaxon says, as I rest my head against the steering wheel of my car, whilst I take some breaths and try to hold back my tears.

Jax is only six; he shouldn’t have to see me cry. He’s a sweet boy, very loving and so clever, but recently he has this excessive strength in him he can’t seem to control. It’s breaking my heart that he is struggling this way.

“It’s okay, baby, everything is going to be okay,” I reassure, schooling my features into a smile as I look back at him in the rearview mirror.

“I will say sorry to Robbie tomorrow. I promise,” he looks back at me with his big blue eyes that look so harmless.

How can I tell him the school permanently excluded him, and that he can’t return to his friends, or that we’ll be lucky if Robbie’s parents don’t call the police?

“I think some time away will be best for now, but maybe you could draw Robbie a nice picture, and we can take it around to his house at the weekend. How does that sound?” I ask as I start the engine and pull away from the school.

“Okay, I will draw him a super big robot with laser eyes. Robbie loves robots!” Jax shouts excitedly before proceeding to act like a robot for the rest of the drive home.

I pull up outside our house and see Greg’s car in the driveway. He must have finished work early. The thought of telling him that Jaxon has been excluded fills me with dread.

We have been married for two years now, and he is a good stepfather to Jax most of the time, but he can be very harsh with him, which I hate. I have tried talking to him about it, but he says he’s just trying to make sure Jaxon doesn’t turn out like his father. I think he just has a growing resentment towards my son.

“Can we have pizza for dinner, Mummy? It’s Greg’s favourite,” Jax says as we make our way into the house.

I stop in the entryway and listen for Greg. I can hear the shower upstairs. “Pizza sounds good,” I nod. “How about you go up to your room and draw that picture for Robbie? I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

Jaxon runs upstairs excitedly, and I head into the kitchen and pull a pizza from the freezer to put in the oven. My phone dings with a text message just as I set the timer on the oven.

The message is from Jaxon’s scout group leader, informing me he can no longer attend the group because of the incident in school today and concerns from other parents. News certainly travels fast in this town.

How can the whole town turn on a six-year-old little boy so easily? Yes, he was wrong for pushing his friend when he tried to take a toy from him, but he couldn’t have known Robbie would bang his head and require stitches. Kids his age push and shove each other all the time. Jax is just very strong for his age. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad kid.

“I’m going out,” Greg says as he passes the kitchen without coming to greet me with a kiss the way he usually does. I can sense that he is slowly withdrawing from me.

“Where are you going? I’m making pizza, and I was hoping we could talk before dinner,” I call after him.

“I’m meeting a few friends. I will eat whilst I’m out. Don’t wait up,” he says, pulling the front door open.

“Wait, Greg, I really need to talk to you about…”

“They excluded Jaxon,” Greg cuts me off. “I already know, and I’m not surprised. I told you he would turn out just as bad as his father.”

The front door closes behind my husband before I even have a chance to respond. How does he know? Did the school call him?

I don’t understand his hatred towards Ryder. He has never even met him, and he only knows what others have told him. It’s true that Ryder was no angel, but he was not as bad as Greg makes him out to be.

He was in the foster care system. His foster family had not been a great match for him, and he had suffered horrific bullying in school. When he started college, he was very defensive and would often get into fights with our peers, but with me, he was the sweetest. Although he always showed an interest, I had never felt pressured by him to have sex, and so, on the eve of his 18th birthday, I decided it was time. Our birthdays were only two days apart, but he often teased me, calling me a cougar because I was a whole two days older than him.

The day after our awkward fumble in a tent, I had woken up alone. He had disappeared. His phone disconnected, and he didn’t return to college. I called at his house many times, but no one ever answered the door.

When I found out I was pregnant six weeks later, I became obsessed with trying to find him.

One neighbour eventually took pity on me and informed me that the family had packed up and moved away. It was so hard to believe, and it took me almost two years to accept, because my Ryder wouldn’t do that to me. We were in love, and he wouldn’t just leave me in the middle of the night without a word.

After dinner, when Jax is in bed and Greg still hasn’t returned, I head upstairs for a shower. As I undress and put my dirty clothes into the wash basket, something catches my eye as it lights up. It’s Greg’s work phone, sticking out of his pants pocket.

He’s lucky I spotted it before I put the clothes in the washing machine. I put the phone on the bathroom counter and take my shower, attempting to wash away all the stress of the day. Tomorrow I’ll need to find a new school for Jax, but tonight I need to relax with a good book and some camomile tea.

I can hear Greg’s phone buzzing over the sound of the running water, and it’s starting to annoy me. Who is bothering him so much out of work hours? He works at a sporting goods shop. No one should need him this late in the day. With a sigh as the phone buzzes incessantly again, I shut off the shower, intending to turn the phone off, but when I see the messages on the screen my heart plummets.

Someone called Leanne has sent multiple messages, and although I can only see the first line of each text, it’s easy to work out the context.

Leanne: I miss you.

Leanne: Have you told her yet?

Leanne: Thanks for today. I love you so much.

I drop the phone, unable to read any more. 

My husband is having an affair.

A sob escapes me as I feel my entire world crashing down around me. I know things haven’t been perfect lately, but how could he do this? Why am I not enough for him? Why do the people I love always leave me?

I wrap a towel around myself and rush into the bedroom to call the only person I can rely on. My sister, Poppy. She recently moved away to attend university. She is studying to become a vet, and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

Poppy answers on the first ring, and she listens while I pour my heart out to her. I tell her what happened with Jaxon’s school and the message from his scout leader, and I tell her what Greg has done.

“Paige, you need to get out of that town. There’s a small house for rent not too far from my university. I went to view it today, but the bus route is not good, and it was just too far for a daily commute to uni without a car. It’s a sweet little place with two bedrooms, and it’s fully furnished. The town felt homely and welcoming. Pack up your stuff and have a fresh start at this end of the country with me. There’s nothing left for you there,” Poppy says.

“But what if…”

“He’s not worth it, Paige, don’t give him a second chance,” Poppy cuts me off.

My eyes fill with tears. She is right. There is nothing left for me here. Poppy has moved away, my parents are dead, Jaxon has no school, Greg is leaving me for another woman and I have already accepted that Ryder’s isn’t coming back for me, so why stay in a place that holds more bad memories than good ones?

Moving to a new area wouldn’t be too difficult. My job as an editor means I can work from any location, and with Jaxon no longer having a school here, there really is no reason to stay. Poppy is right. A fresh start in a new place is exactly what we need. 

“Okay, Pops. Send me the details of the house.”